Video: Jay Glazer Tells the Story of How Ruining the Patriots Trip to Super Bowl 49 Cost Him Sex

Ethan Miller. Getty Images.

It's hard to come up with another profession in American life that is more enamored with itself than that of Journos. I suppose you could argue the entertainment industry, because there's a lot in common there. Both place way more importance in what they do than is actually deserved. Both love stopping every so often to hand out awards to one another at gala banquets. And members of both tend to talk like they got into the business in order to save civilization, and not because it's a cool way to make a living that pays well and gets you laid a lot. 

But when it comes to Journos, they're not necessarily wrong about that. As we've discussed before, some have sacrificed that last part in order to perform their duties  that first part:

And now we discover that Adam Schefter was not alone in allowing his relentless pursuit of the truth interfere with his relentless pursuit of ass. Jay Glazer once performed a similar, and even more selfless, act over 10 years ago:

Source - On Julian Edelman’s Games With Names podcast this week, Glazer said he abandoned a date with a woman before sex because that happened to be when he got particular Deflategate information he had to get out there. …

[This] particular story sees Glazer pushing back against Patriots’ fans’ claims he timed a revelation to come out during the team’s flight to 2015’s Super Bowl XLIX by discussing how it was far from ideal timing for him:

“You guys were flying in for the Super Bowl, and I reported that the NFL has video of the two locker room attendants taking balls into a bathroom for whatever it was. So I reported that as you were flying in. And guys were all pissed off at me thinking I timed it on purpose for when you were flying in. That’s the stupidest sht ever, because you’re not waiting for that.

  

“You guys landed, and I had everybody killing me, and I had all these fans grab me down at the Super Bowl thinking I did this on purpose. …They’re like, ‘You f*ing did this on purpose!’ And it actually couldn’t have come at a worse time when I broke that. I was actually with a girl when this came in. It was my first time being with her.

“I was like, ‘Oh, I got to go deal with this. Do you know about the whole Deflategate?’ She’s like, ‘No, but I know about deflating.’ Couldn’t have been worse!

“So I told one of your stations up there, I was like, ‘Guys, let me show you what I was doing, about to, when I got that third confirmation.’ And I show these guys a picture of the young lady, I’m like ‘You think I want to step away from this to go break a story? You think I waited on purpose to go break it then?’ And they’re like ‘No, absolutely.’ I’m like ‘Please tell everybody what you saw,’ and they’re like ‘We can’t, but we believe you.’ Man. I don’t do sht like that.”

Here's the video. Cued up to the 9:54 mark:

First of all, with or without a photo of the young lady in question, you have to respect Glazer's commitment. Any woman who can pull off that "I know about deflating" line in that moment is a keeper. Even if the entire country was in the middle of a raging, Category 5 Pun Storm of deflated balls jokes, that's a well-timed punchline. Assuming it's true. 

But just to go back a second, I was in the room at the Patriots team hotel outside of Phoenix as they landed and met with the press. This was 48 hours after Belichick's legendary Mona Lisa Vito press conference and the absurd grilling Tom Brady took afterwards. You cannot overstate the tension in that room that day. 

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For a week the whole world was operating off of bad intel. Chris Mortensen's Tweet with its completely erroneous psi data was accepted as fact. No one had heard that footballs naturally lose pressure in the cold until Belichick gave us that middle school physics lesson. And no one except Pats fans were interested in hearing about how Mike Kensil and Troy Vincent conspired together to create the whole fiction. 

Then with the team plane having gone wheels up from Providence bound for Arizona, Glazer dropped this information bomb and the human race lost its collective mind. Mr. Kraft read a statement he hand wrote on the flight, with the ink still wet. All the questions at that first press event were about Deflategate. Not about the Pats trying to win their first championship in 10 years. Not about them beating the brakes off the Colts in the 2nd half of the AFC title game with allegedly conforming footballs. Just Brady's supposedly nefarious scheme to bribe two employees, Dorito Dink and the Deflator - the C3PO and R2D2 of this saga - into helping him cheat. Cheat in order to beat a 2-ply soft Colts team that couldn't have stopped LeGarrette Blount if they were allowed to dig trenches and mine the red zone. 

So while it's not only impolite but also bad karma to celebrate when another man gets coitus interruptus-ed, I can't help but think Glazer cucking himself in that moment was some rough justice. The universe making an attempt to balance the scales in favor of Brady back before anyone outside of the six New England states was willing to admit he was an innocent man being persecuted for his own success. 

Even if it was a decade ago, just knowing that his part in perpetuating this lie cost Glazer an orgasm should bring all Patriots fans some small measure of satisfaction. If nothing else, it proves this war is still not over.