Meghan Markle is Getting Slammed for a Bizarre of Her Dancing Around in the Delivery Room With What Looks Like a Ridiculously Fake Pregnancy Belly

I'm happy to report that I've successfully kicked my addiction to Harry and Meghan. Yep, it's been almost six months since I fed into the crippling narcissism of these two preposterously grandiose, self-possessed attention whores. I tapped out after Meghan's vapid, unwatchable Reality show dropped:

From there, I left it to the critics and the internet writ large to take up the mantle. I passed the torch and kicked the habit. Yessiree, I got that monkey of "Fixating on the Drama of an Insipidly Fake Royal Egomaniacs" right off my back. I got clean and sober and it's felt really good. 

Until now. I've fallen off the Meghan Markle wagon. I won't be getting my next chip. Thanks to this triggering event. Which might be the most insane thing this clearly deranged and unserious couple has ever done. 

In a nutshell, she released a video that is supposed to be from the delivery room just before she delivered a baby. Which baby, I don't know. My interest in Royals doesn't go deep enough for me to learn their lineup or their bench. But to set this up, here's Megyn Kelly explaining the conspiracy theory that claims she used a surrogate and was never actually pregnant. A theory Kelly has never bought into or promoted because it's so farfetched. Cued up to the 5:20 mark:

But as she goes onto say, now she has her doubts. Thanks to the delivery room video:

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Which only served to throw barrels of rocket fuel on the conspiracy theorists' fire:

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And then the self-described experts began (pardon the unintentional pun) weighing in:

Including the mothers who have run the same test as Meghan, not in a lab, but done the clinical work in the field, in real life conditions. And found themselves physically incapable of moving around in way similar to what she was doing. Because, you know, the whole fully-developed, third trimester human being growing in their womb. Along with all the extras up inside there, which I will not get into. But it's a lot:

Yeah, expectant moms about to go into labor are traditionally not the most nimble of God's creatures. For sure they don't typically move around the delivery room like Simone Biles in the Floor Exercises. So the suspicions about the authenticity of this video are not invalid.

Personally, because I don't want to get my employer sued, I'm got to be agnostic as to weather that's a gestating fetus or a throw pillow. At least I'll pretend to be. The fact is, I don't have much experience with mothers on the verge of giving birth. I drove to the hospital twice. I was physically there in the room with my nurturing Irish Rose, the midwife and the nurses. But my mind was anywhere else but in that Birthing Unit. Honestly, it was like a crime scene in there. They asked me if I wanted to come around to the foot of the bed and get a better look, and I said, "Thanks, but no. I'd like to keep a little air of mystery about all of this." True story. I can assure you there was no dancing, squatting, and twerking around the room like a Bachelorette Party drunk at a nightclub. Just a lot of pain management. Hers and mine. 

So instead, let's go with what we do know. Regardless of her physical state and who actually birthed her baby, Meghan Markle decided this was a good idea. This stunt. This dancing. Recording it. And putting it on the internet. Presumably to prove to the critics that she did have her baby. But also to prove she's real and genuine and totally authentic, just like us norms. 

And in doing so, she failed miserably at both. 

Now it's time for me to go back on the wagon. One Day at a Time.