Joe Rogan Taking a Deep Dive Into Crop Circles is the Conspiracy Theory We Can All Get Behind
Shutterstock Images.It doesn't take long to know me or visit this site and not quickly determine I enjoy a good conspiracy theory. How you define "good" is an eye-of-the-beholder scenario if ever there was one.
For examples, I'm a regular poster about UFO and the JFK Assassination. I like these because they fundamentally speak to our place in the universe and our nation. And because there is plenty enough evidence to suggest we've been lied to about both by powerful interests, both in and outside our government.
As opposed to a terrible conspiracy. Like this one that says 9/11 was predicted by the cover of Supertramp's multi-platinum Breakfast in America.:
C'mon, internet. Work smarter, not harder.
I bring all this up because this week Joe Rogan had on AJ Gentile, the host of one of my go-to YouTube channels, The Why Files, which takes deep dives into a whole range of topics, from the conspiratorial to the paranormal. I've cited his work many times here, as have other Barstool writers.
In the interview, they touched on some of the grimmest, least fun conspiracies. Such as CIA leader Allen Dulles (whom JFK fired but who still managed to make his way onto the Warren Commission, and many believe was actually running the whole operation) bombing Italian civilians after WWII in a false flag operation to pin the blame on Communists:
… secret guerrilla army in Europe—specifically Italy—to carry out bombings and blame them on communists.
“So, they trained a secret army, a civilian army in Italy to bomb civilians and then blame it on the communists,” he explained.
“The communists at that time were the most popular party in Italy.”
These weren’t small attacks. They were deadly.
“So civilians were killed in bombings by the CIA-trained guerrilla army, and they were trained by a Nazi general who was tight with Allen Dulles.”
What shocked Gentile the most was how early the plans were laid.
“This was planned during the war—you know, while American GIs were being killed fighting the Nazis, they were already planning for this next phase.”
And even after the bodies piled up, the truth was buried.
“But civilians died in massacres, and they blamed it on communists, and it was denied and denied, and eventually it came out.
It was called Operation Gladio.”
There's certainly nothing in there that could be described in any way as "fun." Instead, like Rogan and Gentile agreed on, it's the kind of thing that makes you lose faith you live in a just and sane country.
But this was fun. A blast, in fact. The deep dive they took into the phenomenon of Crop Circles:
And here's the longer segment:
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tl;dw: These formations keep showing up in fields, particularly in Great Britain, and mostly in a particular area of the country. They're often dismissed as hoaxes. And there is no shortage of locals who'll go on camera to say they did it, pull out some 3-foot planks with ropes for handles on the end and demonstrate how they walk around in circles stepping on the boards to flatten the stalks of whatever crop is growing. And for sure, that is the case with some of them.
But not all. There are some of these that positively cannot be debunked. For sure they can't be dismissed as the work of British hayseeds stepping on boards. For starters, the geometric patterns are far too complex, too precise, and too mathematical to be pulled off by some yokel with Austin Powers teeth. As Gentile explains, some are based on exact calculations of spirals, fractals, the Fibonacci Sequence and the Golden Ratio, down to minute decimals. And they often appear overnight, in the course of just a few hours. And in at least one instance, crop circles appeared in an area that had just been patrolled about an hour before.
Even more astonishing is the way in which the crops are bent. Not by some goober stepping on a piece of wood as a joke. But in ways that are nothing less than impossible to explain. So I'll let Grok AI describe them:
Unexplained Physical Characteristics: Some crop circles exhibit unusual traits that enthusiasts claim are not easily replicated by humans. These include:
Weaved or Bent Stalks: Crops are sometimes found woven together or bent at the nodes without breaking, suggesting a force beyond simple trampling.
Enlarged Growth Nodes: Certain circles show enlarged or altered plant nodes, which some attribute to exposure to an unknown energy source.
Electromagnetic Anomalies: Reports of compass malfunctions or electronic device failures near crop circles add to the intrigue, though scientific evidence for these claims is lacking.
What's creating these, is anyone's guess. All we can say with any degree of certain is that they're not all hoaxes. If they were, they'd be the most elaborate, difficult, and stupid practical jokes in the history of humor. If you have the technology to destroy someone's crop at the node, weave them together like wicker in a basket, do it all within a short span of time without getting caught, what on earth are you doing pranks like you're the crew of Impractical Jokers? Why wouldn't you use that time, energy and technology to … I don't know … wipe out the bank accounts of terrorist cells or mess with the call centers scamming old people of their life savings. Something useful everyone can respect and appreciate you for. Not playing gags so you can laugh at YouTubers, podcasters and decent, red-blooded, God-fearin' sports blogger conspiracy enthusiasts.
Anyway if you have the time, here's the full episode of The Why Files exploring the topic in great detail, including some of the debunkers theories. You'll be glad you did.
Until - and if - we ever do get to the bottom of this, keep some water handy and be ready to swing away, Merrill.