Dumping Them Out: Landlord Chronicles Vol. 4276

Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out. I've been watching the show Suits for the first time. I essentially have Suits playing in the background of my life, either on my TV or my phone, whenever I'm not working. Sometimes when I am working. I've found it to be the perfect show to listen to without really watching, because as long as you recognize the voices, the whole show is basically just lawyers having conversations. There's nothing you really have to see other than facial expressions. Which got me thinking, they should make a show that's specifically designed to be consumed that way. Like a Netflix drama for people to listen to on the go. I saw all that to say there was a good minute of my life yesterday where I thought I was onto something genius, before I realized I had just invented audiobooks. 

If you're one of the few people who subscribe to Dumping Them Out for the words, then you've heard me bitch about my landlord on here before. I can't express to you how much I can't stand the guy. It's always hard to convey into words, because when I spell out things he's done, it's never anything that bad. He's just the most weasely man I've ever had to deal with in my life. From the time we moved in nearly 3 years ago, he's just made everything uncomfortable. For example, the other day he texted me to let me know I left a light on in the basement storage area. Which on its own is fine. It's a little cheap if you ask me. If I were a landlord, I would do whatever I could to not bother my tenants and turn the light off myself (he lives in our apartment complex too, which was our first mistake). But had he simply texted, "Hey John, just a reminder to turn the light on when you leave the basement", then I have no qualms with that. 

But his text said, "John - You left the basement lights on while accessing your storage room since last Thursday 4 pm."

I mean what the hell is that? What's with the timestamp? Is he going to take the extra few dollars in electricity out of our security deposit? Every conversation I've have with the guy makes me feel like he's building some sort of case against us. If there's ever a way he can make something slightly more difficult for us, he'll do it. But after three years with this annoying, snively little man as our landlord, we're finally moving this Saturday. We got the whole move planned already. So of course this morning he texts us asking if we hired movers. I should have just said no, but for some stupid fucking reason I was honest and told him we hired a Taskrabbit to help load our U-Haul. To which he replied, "You are expected to have a company with approved liability insurance limits. This a requirement mandated by my building insurance. Let me talk to my insurance tomorrow and get back to you."

Obviously I'm not changing anything now. It's probably too late to hire an "approved" moving company by Saturday anyways. If he really does come back and tell us we can't use the Taskrabbit, I'll just lie and say we cancelled the Taskrabbit and are having a friend help us (then pretend the Taskrabbit is one of our friends). I don't know how the stupid Jersey City moving laws work, but how the hell can someone tell me I'm not allowed to invite a person into my apartment and carry out some boxes. Is that something I can actually get in trouble for? Is there a world where he can call the cops on me for illegal moving? I'm 100% going to end up in a situation Saturday where my landlord is standing outside our front door refusing to let our Taskrabbit in, aren't I? I literally just need a guy to help me carry out like 4 dressers, a king sized bed, and however many boxes he can carry in the 2 hours I'm paying him for. There's not even any stairs to deal with. Just could use an extra set of hands to make my life a little easier. It blows my mind how anybody would spend an ounce of energy trying to stop that from happening.