Loser New Yorkers Preventing The Celtics Bus From Leaving Madison Square Garden After Defeating Them In The (Checks Notes) Conference Semifinals, Because They Were Celebrating Like They Won A Championship, Is So On Brand For Sad New York Sports Fans Its Not Even Funny

Credit where it’s due, the 2024-25 Knicks are actually a respectable basketball team. They play hard as fuck, they’re well-coached for once, and they’ve got guys you can root for without feeling gross and needing a shower after. Their owner is still a lowlife piece of shit, but for the first time in ages, the Knicks themselves aren’t a complete punchline. 

Let's not forget, they needed the refs to bail them out, not once, but twice, to help them prevail over Detroit in the first round. But to their credit, Thibadeau had them dialed in a ready to take it to the Celtics right out the gates in this series. They seized the opportunity, not once, but twice, when Boston choked away 20 point leads late in the first two games at homes, and didn't give it back. 

But as for their fans? Their fans are the reason nobody outside Manhattan is ever, ever going to root for this team. 

Tonight, the self-proclaimed “Mecca of Basketball” treated a second round, conf semifinals win over the Boston Celtics like it was Game 7 of the NBA Finals. 

Angelina Katsanis. Getty Images.

Angelina Katsanis. Getty Images.

Angelina Katsanis. Getty Images.

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Angelina Katsanis. Getty Images.

Angelina Katsanis. Getty Images.

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And the best part was the Celts were sans Jayson Tatum. 

Boston limped into the Garden missing their best player, one of the best in the world, an MVP candidate, and a guy who has absolutely dominated the Knicks his whole career. But why let that get in the way of an all-out parade? It’s like knocking out a heavyweight who’s got a broken leg, or his right arm tied behind his back, then running laps around the ring with your hands high after you win. By all means, celebrate. But acting like you just toppled a dynasty at full strength? Fuckin relax. The Larry O’Brien trophy is still two series away.

This was too perfect. 

Don't even get me started on the imaginary Celtics fans and "entire world" who Kevin claims said the Knicks were a bad basketball team. For everybody unlike him, who actually watched Knick basketball this season before the playoffs, everybody knew this was a hard-nosed, well-coached, tenacious team. Nobody wanted to play this team in the playoffs. 

But I guess that this is just what it’s like being a Knicks fan. You stumble into a fortunate win over a depleted and handicapped Celtics team, and suddenly it’s 1999 again. You’ve got New York’s finest scholars and intellectuals in the streets climbing light poles, lighting Celtics jerseys on fire for God knows what reason, and preventing the Celtics team bus from leaving the arena like they’re storming the Bastille. 

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Legends bro! 

News flash guys- you haven’t even won the fucking Eastern Conference. This was the second round. This is the conference semis. In Boston, this is known as “Friday.” In New York, it’s apparently treated like the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. 

The appropriate check in this situation would be to say, act like you've been there before, but of course, New York, New York, the self-proclaimed greatest city in the world, the Mecca of Basketball, the center of the sports universe, has not been there. 

So should them acting like a mid-major who just knocked off Duke in the Final Four really come as a surprise? Am I actually the asshole for calling them out for being classless?

Maybe this is just how people behave in college towns like Manhattan where people have nothing else to live for or celebrate? Is this just par for the course when your city’s 8 professional sports teams haven’t won a single championship this decade?

Even more hilarious is the celebrity infestation that’s suddenly taken over Madison Square Garden. For the last two decades, Knicks games were a graveyard for Z-list reality stars and people who peaked during the Clinton administration. But the past two weeks? Look who’s courtside, every washed-up actor and fair-weather influencer in Manhattan crawling out of the woodwork like rats. 

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Nathaniel S. Butler. Getty Images.

What a joke. Every “lifelong Knicks fan” who suddenly found time in their schedule now that there’s a camera in their face. Where have you been the last twenty years? Spike Lee aside? You couldn’t pay these people to show up when the Knicks were trotting out starting fives that would lose to a YMCA team. 

But now it’s a who’s-who of phonies waving towels, hooting and hollering during a blowout, and mugging for the jumbotron.

And Christ. I fucking love Clem to death. Unlike that snake KFC, he's one of the best guys you'll ever meet. Also one of the best writers this place has ever had. But this blog he posted last night after the game made me puke. 

For years now, the best part after the Knicks won a big game was seeing the circus that would take place on Seventh Ave. I knew tonight would be a special type of chaos considering the Boston-New York rivalry. But seeing all this shit go down officially has me concerned if the Knicks are able to keep rolling in the playoffs.

I mean if we have kids climbing billboards in Midtown with slides on after a second round series victory, what happens if the Knicks make the Finals? I'm not sure if I even want to know the answer considering this is the kind of shit taking place right now:

Clem brother. What rivalry? 

The Knicks are a fucking clown show. They're not the Lakers. They're not the Sixers. They're not the Pistons. For Christ's sakes, they're not even the Cavs or Bulls. Celtics fans feel pity for Knicks fans. Strike that, Celtics fans felt pity for Knicks fans. 

(Editor's Note: I was referring to the very real rivalry between the cities that has existed forever, hence the way I wrote out the city names, not the non-existent rivalry between the two basketball teams that have seldom been good at the same time recently. Sorry if this offended).

We really wanted to root for this team to take this momentum into the next round, and carry it through to the The Finals. Maybe actually make this a rivalry over the next few seasons. 

Again, Brunson is a dog, Hart and Bridges bust their asses game in and game out, and don't whine for calls. This is a fun and hard team not to root for. Thibadeau finally has a team worth coaching. If Knicks fans had a shred of self-awareness, the rest of the country might actually be rooting for them. 

All that changed tonight with that pathetic display tonight on Seventh Ave. 

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They’re out here making fools of themselves, treating a conference semis win over a shorthanded Celtics team like it’s the moon landing. And were these people even in the arena for the game? Or just hanging out on the streets looking to cause trouble because they have nothing better to do? It's too bad there were no Spurs fans from London hanging around for them to assault for no reason. 

I always thought New York was the pinnacle of everything. A #1. King of the hill. Top of the heap. I thought only championships moved the needle. I was very wrong, apparently. It's too bad Smelly and her girl weren't in attendance tonight because if that Madison Square crowd could have stormed that court, you can bet your ass they would have. 

Congrats, New York. You’ve got a good team, but your fans are insufferable. Try getting to The Finals before you throw another citywide frat rager. For a city that never shuts up about being “the classiest in the world,” you sure know how to act like absolute trash when you win. Call me bitter all you want. And you’re probably right. But it's going to be a lot of fun watching your team get fucking curb-stomped by OKC, if not Indiana. And it's going to be even more fun watching the Celtics go full throttle on your ass, no mercy, next season, and from here on out.

p.s. - Hank is correct 

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p.p.s. - the only thing more disappointing than New York fans tonight was Porzingis. This whole series. I know the guy is sick with a mystery illness but talk about a no-show. I really thought he was a real-one who would rise to the occasion.