This is Cinema: The Department of Homeland Security is Being Pitched a Reality Gameshow Called "The American", Where Immigrants Would Compete for U.S. Citizenship

Fox 11 – Writer and producer Rob Worsoff is reportedly working with the Department of Homeland Security to pitch the reality show titled "The American," where immigrants will compete in different challenges nationwide to gain U.S. citizenship.

Worsoff, who is known for producing the A&E hit reality show "Duck Dynasty," wants "The American" to start a national conversation about what it means to be an American "through the eyes of people who want it most," The Daily Mail reported citing a copy of Worsoff’s TV series pitch.

The Daily Beast reported that the reality show would feature 12 contestants going to Ellis Island in New York City aboard a ship.  The contestants would then travel from state to state on a train called "The American" to learn about each area’s history and culture and compete in different themed contests.

I apologize to come at you with such a hot political take on a Saturday, but I think there are probably better things our Department of Homeland Security could do with their time than come up with the most electric piece of entertainment in the history of entertainment. It would be a rough look for DHS if a bomb goes off in the Pentagon while Deputy Secretary Troy Edgar evaluates a Hatian mother of six's interpretation of Cosette for the all-immigrant rendition of Les Misérables. But let's put our irrational fear of terrorists aside for a second and focus on the fact that the producer of Duck Dynasty (this guy)...

…is concocting a reality gameshow competition where immigrants compete for a chance at U.S. Citizenship. American citizenship is a hot ticket nowadays, and if anybody knows what it takes to be an American, it's that guy. A reality game show where the winner is sworn in as U.S. citizen on the steps of the Capitol building, and the losers are scooped up by ICE and stuffed in a shipping container to be sent back across Atlantic (that last part is just a suggestion). Incredible stuff. 

And for anybody who thinks it might be "cruel" to have poor immigrants compete for U.S. Citizenship or be shipped back off to whatever terrible situation they're so desperate to get away from, you'll be pleased to know the losing immigrants will receive a consolation prize that includes a $10,000 Starbucks Gift Card. 

Contestants eliminated will receive a parting gift that reportedly includes a million American Airlines points, a $10,000 Starbucks gift card, and lifetime supply of 76 gasoline, the Independent reported.

Meanwhile, the winner of the show is sworn in as an American citizen on the steps of the U.S. Capitol building.

Jokes aside, that actually is a pretty sick consolation gift. $10,000 in Starbucks? $16,000 in American Airlines points? An infinite amount of gasoline? Throw in a truck full of Budweiser and maybe another $20k to one of those meat delivery services, and they're basically just a walking America no matter what country they're in. As long as they aren't instantaneously robbed the moment they step foot back in their home village, that's a pretty incredible prize. For that prize, I might hunt down one of the losers myself and trade them my American citizenship one-for-one.

According the the DHS, the idea has not officially been approved. The Daily Beast reported that Secretary Kristi Noem had been personally working with the Duck Dynasty guy on the show, but the DHS has vehemently denied that claim. They really want us know that Kristi Noem in particular is NOT working on this show. But the DHS did make a point to say the idea has NOT been denied yet either.

X.com – This is completely false. @DailyMail’s “reporting” is an affront to journalism. Secretary Noem has not “backed” or even aware of  the pitch of any scripted or reality show.

@DHSgov receives hundreds of television show pitches a year, ranging from documentaries surrounding ICE and CBP border operation to white collar investigations by HSI. Each proposal undergoes a thorough vetting process prior to denial or approval. 

This pitch has not received approval or denial by staff.

If it was completely out of the question, I'd imagine Tricia would have come out and said exactly that. So I gotta think it's at least being considered more than just any old pitch. And for what it's worth, which very well might be nothing at all, the Daily Mail then doubled down on the reports that this idea is further along than the DHS is leading on.

Daily Mail - Tricia McLaughlin, the top spokesperson for DHS, acknowledged that agency staff are reviewing this pitch and had a call with the producer last week. She insisted Noem is yet to be briefed on the initiative.

However, DailyMail.com has confirmed that Noem supports the project and wants to proceed.

And McLaughlin said: 'I think it's a good idea.'

Worsoff's project comes as Noem is wanting to showcase what it means to become an American, amid the Trump administration's crackdown on illegal immigration.

She and her agency have been working for weeks to get such a project greenlit from Netflix or another streaming or cable service, sources tell DailyMail.com.

But while past outreach has fallen flat, they're hoping this one has a real chance.

In his pitch, Worsoff, 49, expresses confidence that The American would be a commercial hit and 'lends itself to enormous corporate sponsorship opportunities'.

At the same time, there's concern among some in DHS about the possible optics of turning the plight of immigrants into a reality game show, sources say.

The Daily Mail is going as far as saying they know specific details of the show, including who the hosts would be, and what the competitions would look like #Journalism

As described in Worsoff's pitch, contestants from various countries and backgrounds would be pre-vetted and arrive at Ellis Island in New York City aboard 'The Citizen Ship', a boat symbolizing a new beginning.

They'd be greeted by the host – 'a famous, naturalized American who was also born in another country'.

Worsoff's pitch names Colombian-born Sofia Vergara, Canadian Ryan Reynolds and Mila Kunis who hails from Ukraine as possible hosts who'd greet each contestant with a welcome gift – a personalized baseball glove.

Contestants would then travel state to state meeting 'interesting Americans' and learning about the history, culture and quirks of each region. Viewers in turn will learn about each wannabe American and why they want to live here.

'We'll join in the laughter, tears, frustration, and joy – hearing their backstories – as we are reminded how amazing it is to be American, through the eyes of 12 wonderful people who want nothing more than to have what we have,' the pitch reads.

The immigrants would be divided into teams who'd face off in one-hour episodes.

Scenes envisaged include one in San Francisco, where the immigrants are sent down a mine to collect the most gold.

In Cape Canaveral, Florida, the hub of NASA, contestants would rush to build and launch a rocket.

In Hayward, Wisconsin, they'd struggle to keep their balance on logs.

To which the Department of Homeland Security denied once again, releasing a FAKE NEWS FRIDAY denial on DHS.gov

DHS.gov – The Daily Mail published yet another false story Thursday, claiming Secretary Kristi Noem “backed” a reality television show pitch about U.S. citizenship.

In a statement, Assistant Secretary Tricia McLaughlin slammed the Daily Mail’s false reporting and fake narratives.

“This is completely false. Daily Mail’s ‘reporting’ is an affront to journalism. Secretary Noem has not ‘backed’ nor is even aware of the pitch of any scripted or reality show. DHS receives hundreds of television show pitches a year, ranging from documentaries surrounding ICE and CBP border operations to white collar investigations by HSI. Each proposal undergoes a thorough vetting process prior to denial or approval. This pitch has not received approval or rejection by staff.” – Assistant Secretary Tricia McLaughlin

Kristi Noem = NOT INVOLVED. But again… the DHS didn't say that the show has been rejected. Sounds like at minimum the Daily Mail got a hold of the pitch. Log rolling, rocket launching, Mila Kunis. Sign me up. Personally I'd prefer if the challenges were a little more practical. Or maybe revolved around things that I would like to see in an American citizen. Things like ordering at the register in a timely manner when I'm in line behind you. Knowing when it's appropriate to ask me if you can "work in a set" on my machine at the gym). Maybe they could have a  "not bringing your giant fucking electric bike on the train that takes up half the car" competition. Things of that nature. But I can't argue with the man responsible for Duck Dynasty. If he believes balancing on logs is what constitutes a great American, then who am I to argue. 

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Scott Olson. Getty Images.

Sure "The American" might be the final nail in the coffin when it comes to America completely turning into a parody of itself, but it would be a hell of show. Arguably the highest stakes reality game show in the history of reality game shows. A true win or go home competition. A chance to win U.S. citizenship on reality television. What could possibly be more American than that?