Father's Day Collection | New Polos, T-Shirts, Hats & MoreSHOP NOW

Advertisement

I Answered The Challenge, And Am Very Confident I Have The Perfect Friday Night TV Lineup Of All Time

Tagged in a cordial Cons tweet, a sentence that didn't exist in 2022, or 2021, 2020, 2019, or 2018 for that matter. But we don't talk about the past, and the negative, even if it was all my fault. We thank everyone, especially Cons, for the second chance. Onward and upward. Anyway, he brought up a hypothetical about crafting the perfect Friday Night lineup to show your kids. A challenge right up my alley. I'm game for the task. 

First let's dive through the particulars. 

Desired age. 

I take this at about the time I have was watching TGIF, 8-12 was the sweet spot. It's when your old enough that your parents have got you out of that little kid phase that you don't cry when they leave the house, can trust you to possibly be home alone (90's was a different time), or are in a spot where they want to go out with other parents or friends they have in the neighborhood. My parents went out very rarely in early childhood, but from 9-12 it felt like they had a little bit more of a social calendar. Friday nights or Saturday nights (and it wasn't every week) were left to a "Pizza's coming, babysitter's on the way, behave, have fun, watch some tv and we'll miss you." Off we both went. 

At 9-12, before cellphones, and with slow internet (as well as not living on computers like kids do now, it was treated more like a privilege) you kind of lived on making up games in the house, and TV. You had your shows you were excited to watch, you could be alone to watch them, it was a form of independence. You couldn't go out, you kind of had to rely on being in the house and making the best of it. So I'm going for shows aimed at 9-12 year olds. 

Eligibility 

Advertisement

Looking for any kind of sitcom or show, non game shows or cartoons. Anything that premiered for kids, not necessarily just Friday night shows. Saturday morning or Saturday night shows are eligible. 

I think that covers it. 

Off we go. 

One last thing, with a little peak behind the glass of how I'm crafting this. I think timing matters of when shows air. The 8pm show and 830 show are the heavy hitters, the 9pm and 9:30 shows get less eyeballs because kids fall asleep but you still need a great lineup. 

Here's my lineup : 

8pm 

Saved By The Bell 

I know people will say I'm bias here because it's my favorite show, but it's a no brainer. The reason I selected it as a leadoff hitter is because I think you need to set this lineup up with a show that everyone likes and grabs attention and keeps people entertained to watch the 8:30, 9 and 9:30 after a great start. 

Fun show, loud colors, laugh track, a perfect enough mix of safe plots with a few valuable lessons in each one as well as a few serious episodes. Banger show, and one that was trendsetting for the rest of how shows for kids were done moving forward. 

Tons of fun moments, but let's all shed a tear with a sad one that nearly ruined my childhood. 

Advertisement

8:30 

The Wonder Years 

This was my ace in the hole that no one mentioned. If you are showing your kids a show that you want them to learn things from, and one that captures growing up better than literally ANYTHING ever done, this is the one. No doubt about it. The most well done show for kids in that age range of 9-12 than any other one. Also one that parents can watch with kids and have a dialogue about the topics, or emotions they may be going through similar to the characters. Just the best show in that era… bar none. 

Advertisement

Advertisement

I could go on forever. 

9pm 

Boy Meets World 

Another pivotal show for those growing up. With apologies to Mr.Mark Blutman, I do think the show lost it's fastball BIG when they made Shawn the softest human in the latter years in high school, and then Cory soft as shit in college compared to when they were more happy go lucky and interested in sports in the early years, as well as Eric transitioning from the cool oder brother to literally the dumbest human being on the planet. In fact the college years are essentially unwatchable. But the grammar school and high school (most of) years are really really well done and have some really good lessons. 

Advertisement

9:30 

All That 

Lots of different ways you can go here, and I think this could be very controversial with a lot of people, but I do think with kids you need to mix in the fun and the serious. This is 100% not a sitcom like the others, but to build the perfect lineup you have to think outside the box like when Red drafted Larry a year early and no one else realized they could. Take chances, and that's what I'm doing here. Also, again at 9:30 this is getting the least amount of traction so I am taking a shot hoping the crowd likes this one. 

Let's first address the elephant in the room, Dan Schneider is an all time scumbag. ALL TIME SCUMBAG. That's all that needs to be said. 

All That was SNL for kids. Wacky sketches, musical performances of acts that were way different than the top 40 music you probably listened to on the radio or your cd player. Acts you heard for the first time and then became a fan of. 

Advertisement

Again, this is where the list makes or breaks but I treated this as shows you would show your kids, but also shows kids will want to watch at that age. I think you need to get a good honest report card from the kids after the fact and I think All That would have a good score. 

That's my list and I'm sticking to it. Let's here yours.