The Tigers Need To Trade Tarik Skubal Immediately

I wanted to start off by saying "Another day, another gem of an outing for the best (regular season) pitcher in baseball: Tarik Daniel Skubal", but that would be disingenuous to how great of a start he just had. His first career complete game, taking only 95 pitches to do so. A shutout. 13 strikeouts. Only 2 hits. And hitting 103 mph with ease on the very last pitch in the 9th inning. Folks, if you were one of the lucky dozen people in attendance at Comerica this afternoon, you certainly got your monies worth. Unless of course you needed a No-Hitter like I did....

Fuck. Anyways, before I get too far into this blog, let me please state that I am a huge Tarik Skubal fan. Not because I'm from the slums of Detroit or anything (wouldn't admit if I was), but because he personally sent my team to the ALCS last year in an elimination game by serving up a meatball so large that it's only rivaled in size by the gap between Tarik's teeth.

Hey, the playoffs aren't for everyone! Just ask the Tigers. They've been a grand total of ONE TIME in the last decade….

But listen, I don't want this to be a blog where I rag on Detroit or Tarik Skubal. I'm going to keep this courteous and classy, despite how both of the other parties have done the exact opposite to me. But when they go low, I go high. So what I'm going to do here today is give some friendly advice to my good friends in the currently ranked dead last spot on the "Happiest Cities to Live in America" list. It's not all that bad though, Motown, you've moved up to being ranked 149th out of 150 metropolitan areas, as well as 181st out of 182 in safest cities in America!

So yeah, my friendly advice: you have to trade Tarik Skubal immediately. 

I'm going to pull the bandaid off first, so get ready for pain, but this is the worst of it, I promise. There is a 0.0% chance Tarik Skubal re-signs with the Tigers. 

There, was it that bad? You already knew it in the back of your mind. I mean, he's represented by Scott Boras. That's really the only reason I need to give. Does Scott Boras seem like the type of guy to advise his client to give the hometown discount to the middle market organization of Detroit needs him to do? Or does Scott Boras seem like the type of guy to advise Juan Soto to turn down $760 million to stay with the Yankees to take $765 to move across town, become a Met, and in turn be hated by his former loyal fans? It's all about the money baby….and the Tigers don't have enough. 

The word on the street is that Boras is looking to make Tarik Skubal the first ever $400 MILLION pitcher. And I know that's just a rumor, but here's a fact: the Tigers can't win with Tarik Skubal anyways. It's a Paul Skenes / Pirates situation. Would you rather have the Cy Young winner surrounded by trash, or would you rather ship him off and hopefully piece together a good enough roster to contend? Because Detroit simply can't have both.

Take this 4-game series with the Guardians as an example. The Guardians are NOT a good baseball team this year. And they just came into Detroit, where not only the Tigers fan base but their entire roster has been stewing, waiting for the opportunity to get back at Cleveland, and took the first three games of the series. And then what happens? Skubal throws a gem and Detroit calls it a team win! The future is bright! This is the year!

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Correct me if I'm wrong, but we're still playing 5 game and 7 game series in the postseason. And let me know if I'm incorrect here, but Tarik Skubal can't pitch every day. So despite the fact that he truly is an all-time regular season great, we already know how this season ends for the Tigers if they don't ship him out of Detroit: a heroic effort in Game 1 that may or may not result in a win…..a couple losses while he recovers…and then Tarik needing to come back off short rest and will the rest of the team to victory like LeBron James on the 2007 Cavs.

Ira Newble would probably be an upgrade in Center for the Tigers right now! 

Anyways, that's just my two cents, as I'm looking out for my little brothers of Detroit here. Tarik is either going to walk to New York or Los Angeles after the 2026 season, or you can ship here there now and ask for their entire minor league system in return. So ultimately it comes down to a question of why you play the game. Do you want to see your team have a 3x Cy Young winner get bounced in the ALDS each October before he goes to greener pastures? Or do you want to bring in an influx of talent that, if you hit the window just right, could actually take you to a World Series?

*I personally hope I'm wrong with all of this, by the way. There's no one who likes Tarik Skubal more than me!