A Remorseful Tom Brady Admits the Biggest 'Fuck Up' of His Life. Hint: It Was Better Than Any Moment You or I Will Ever Have.

Frazer Harrison. Getty Images.

I can say with some confidence that to be a devoted father who deeply cares about his family, means living with regret. For certain, it's the most rewarding experience imaginable. But with that reward comes a constant reminder of how human and fallible you are. You tell yourself you didn't provide enough for them. You weren't there enough. Missed too many special moments. Weren't as supportive as you should've been. Didn't make them as proud to be your children as you would've liked. Basically anybody who's raised kids over the past 50 years as a flesh and blood version of that absentee asshole dad from "Cat's in the Cradle" that's been causing insane amounts of guilt in three generations of fathers. 

No dad who's actually a part of his kids' lives is immune from feeling these feelings. Not even, it turns out, the most successful metahuman on the planet. It's just that when Tom Brady considers his biggest parenting mistake, it's just as fecking amazing as everything else he's ever been a part of:

Daily Mail - Tom Brady has described his controversial Netflix roast last year 'a f-up' as a parent because of impact it had on his children. …

'How much would it suck for Tom… just knowing your ex-wife's new boyfriend could beat your a** while eating hers,' comedian Nikki Glaser joked during the live broadcast at the Kia Forum last June.

Nikki's other jabs included: 'Tom, the only thing dumber than you saying "yes" to this roast was when you said, "Hey babe, you should try jiu-jitsu."'

Nikki added, 'You have seven rings… well, eight now that Gisele gave hers back.'

Brady, speaking on the 'Impaulsive' podcast, said he had a great night and was able to laugh at himself throughout the evening until he then saw his kids. 

'It was tough on my kids for sure,' Brady said, when asked if he regretted doing it.

'You don’t know what to expect and I love laughing at myself, it felt like I was in the locker room. And the harder people go at me, I’ll actually love it.

'If people make fun of you, then I know I’m good with them. And I don’t take myself too serious but I do understand that for my kids, that was really hard.'

Brady then turned somber as he added: 'There are some things as a parent you f up and you don’t realize until after. …

'We got done and everybody was on cloud nine. And that moment I’ll never forget. And I’ll never forget when I talked to my kids the next day, and I felt like a stake through the heart – and understandably.

'They’re protective of their mom, of their dad, of everybody. "What was the point of that? Why did you do that?". You live and you learn.'

Think about this for a second. Try to recall the worst thing you ever did while raising your kids. Or if you're not a parent, try to remember the worst thing your dad ever did that made you ashamed. Getting drunk and passing. Embarrassing you in front of your friends. Blowing money on something stupid. Wrecking the car. Dancing in public. Disrespecting mom. Wearing cargo shorts. Punching a referee. (I personally remember my 5-year-old telling a group of people I was a police officer and I had to correct it and admit I was just a Court Officer. Which the whole crowd laughed at. And the look in his innocent blue eyes was one of pure shame. I'll never forget the feeling of realizing the Heir to My Dominion was disappointed by my job as long as I live.) Whatever yours was, this is Brady's profound moment of regret:

His was the biggest success in the history of a streaming service so huge, it's the "N" the acronym FAANG, which is all the tech giants that essentially drive the stock market. His rejuvenated American comedy by making cruel, inappropriate jokes acceptable again. It helped boost comics like Nikki Glazer and Tony Hinchcliffe into the stratosphere. It reminded us all that Ben Affleck still has a lot of issues to work through and that Peyton Manning is too safe and milquetoast to truly be funny. Best of all, it brought the key members of sports greatest Dynasty back together under one roof as a reminder of how special it all was:

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 At a time when we needed it most:

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So sure, his kids and the woman he loved almost as much as football were upset. I repeat, it happens in every man's family. But if making broadcast history is the biggest mistake of your life as a father, you're living an extraordinary life. 

Tom Brady, the GOAT of quarterbacks. The GOAT of men. The GOAT of televised comedy. Now the GOAT of fuck ups.