Are Sophie Cunningham & Lexie Hull TOO Tan To Help Caitlin Clark Win A WNBA Championship? Let's Investigate.
The WNBA season kicks off next Friday and there's no doubt a fever is running HOT around Indiana's title chances. They added a dynamic new head coach, made A+ offseason trades, and they still have the best player on earth, Caitlin Clark.
Plus their preseason content has proven the locker room chemistry is already significantly improved from last year. So what could go wrong, right?
Well as the 2024 ROTY mentioned above in her IG comment, could THE SUN be the one to ruin their title hopes? The fucking Sun?!
If you compare Caitlin's complexion to her new twin teammates... there is a stark difference to be seen.
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Couldn't be a more perfect tan on Sophie Cunningham whilst Caitlin is literally blending into the eggshell backdrop. A level of translucence so impressive it's clear she hasn't been outside in MONTHS. Just locked away in a rundown gym somewhere taking thousands of jumpers per day, running wind sprints, and talking trash to thin air to prepare for her sold out crowds. Exactly what a future MVP should be doing.
But does a good tan necessarily mean Sophie & Lexie haven't been working as hard this offseason? I don't wanna jump to conclusions, they both look very dedicated to the cause and have been meshing great with CC on the court so far?
Maybe we have to chalk it up to Sophie just getting traded from Phoenix and Lexie going to college at Stanford, they're no stranger to a sunny day. Must've been loading up on all these tanning sessions because they have to live in Indiana now. Can't imagine sunscreen is in high demand there.
But it's definitely needed on the West Coast folks.
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Fuck the tanning explanation though, I need to know Lexie's ab routine ASAP because god DAMN that's impressive work.
Can we get her WNBA nickname to be "The Big Washboard"? Does that play at all? Shaq definitely can't steal that one.
Either way I'd say we can classify this investigation as case closed. It's pretty clear the Indiana Fever have created some incredible synergy, natural chemistry, and got absolutely chiseled DAWGS all over their roster.
As a NY Liberty fan it's a bummer to admit da Fever will likely win it all this season… But even in that reality I will promise you this dear reader. I will NEVER again try to influence any professional athletes from tanning less.
Especially when they're twins. TWINS Basil.
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