Top 5 Hottest Non-Humans in Star Wars

Yesterday was a day I’ll never forget. After my flight back to Chicago got canceled, I ended up standing in line for over two and a half hours, just to get a partial refund. On top of that, I was told that if I wanted to make it back to Chicago by Monday, I’d have to book with another airline, which cost me an extra $250. Classic Spirit.

But hey, silver lining, while I was standing there getting fucked by Spirit Airlines, I had just enough time to rewatch The Last Jedi. And honestly? I really enjoyed it. Maybe I’m just a sucker for Rey and Kylo, but I thought the film was great overall.

What made the day truly special, though, was getting to talk Star Wars with my guy Robbie. As some of you already know, I love Star Wars. I don’t usually get the chance to show that side of myself, but Robbie invited me onto his 24-hour May the Fourth livestream and of course, I somehow managed to make the conversation about Star Wars sound horny.

In my defense, Robbie set me up. His leading questions were clearly designed to get us canceled. So if you’re looking for someone to blame, it’s him, not me. Yes, I now realize how bad it sounds when someone says, “If she can hold a lightsaber, she can get hit.” In the moment, it felt like a bar worthy one-liner... until I remembered that younglings also hold lightsabers. Yeah, tough look.

Anyway, after talking about my deep love for Anakin Skywalker, Robbie hit me with a wild question: “Who are your top five hottest non-human characters in Star Wars?” 

Here’s what I came up with:

5. Aayla Secura

Lucasfilm. Shutterstock Images.

Don’t know much about her, but she’s a sexy little blue thing. Pretty sure she got gunned down during Order 66, but if I saw her at the bar and she wasn’t, you know, dead… would.

4. Riyo Chuchi

As Robbie pointed out, I might need to check ID here, but listen: cartoons don’t have an age. This list is mostly based on who had me feeling some type of way as a kid. I just remember seeing her and thinking, what is this feeling?

3. Ahsoka (Cartoon)

Disney XD. Getty Images.

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Would. Would. Would. I love live action Ahsoka too, but cartoon Ahsoka hits different. She’s probably my favorite character from The Clone Wars. The combo of her look and lightsaber skills? Unmatched.

2. Darth Talon

Eduardo Parra. Getty Images.

Now we’re getting into the real smoke. I love the Jedi and all, but the dark side has its appeal—and Darth Talon is the perfect example. I’d let her ruin my life. No hesitation.

1. Asajj Ventress 

Ilya S. Savenok. Getty Images.

She’s my 1.1. No contest. It’s all about how she made me feel when I watched Clone Wars. Her voice was like one of those sirens that seduce sailors every time she spoke, I was frozen. For that reason alone, she takes the top spot.