A Breakdown Of My Top 5 Guilty Pleasure Songs

I saw this tweet from The Dog Walk and then saw Rico’s answer, and it got me thinking about what my guilty pleasure songs are. I think this is the general consensus, but just in case it’s not, I define a guilty pleasure song as one you love listening to but wouldn’t play around your boys. That’s why my top five are all kinda girly—but my God, they’re absolute bangers.

5. Hollaback Girl (Gwen Stefani)

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Starting at number five, we’ve got “Hollaback Girl” a staple at every roller rink across America. The chorus hits like crack, and the beat is unreal. I’ve had too many good memories with this song not to include it in my top five. Fun fact I got my first woody while this song was playing.

4. Umbrella (Rihanna)

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At number four, it’s “Umbrella” by Rihanna. The main reason I don’t play this song around other people is because I sing my heart out every time I hear it and I don’t want to torture whoever I’m with. Personally, I think it’s her best song ever. Bold claim? Maybe. But if a song has me pouring my heart out to every word I have no choice but to crown it as the goat.

3. Give It To Me (Nelly Furtado)

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Number three: “Give It to Me” by the queen herself, Nelly Furtado. I think she’s one of the most underrated artists of my lifetime at least in my generation. Any time you had Timbaland, JT, and Nelly on the same track, you knew it was gonna be a hit.

2. Pink Pony Club (Chappell Roan)

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Number two is “Pink Pony Club.” I’ll say it now: this is a top-five bar song of all time. It hits like a bump. You could be blacked out, barely able to form a sentence, and if this song comes on, you suddenly come back to life. Would I ever play it in the car with my boys? Absolutely not. But do I secretly love hearing it at the bar? Yes.

1. Promiscuous (Nelly Furtado)

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And last but not least, I’ve got “Promiscuous” by none other than Nelly Furtado. Once again, Nelly plus Timbaland equals magic. This is one of my all-time favorite treadmill songs, and I have zero shame about it. Fuck now, I want to put my airpods in and bump Nelly Furtado for a couple hours.