The Consensus Top Pick of Round 1 Was Jaxson Dart's Mom
By no means am I a man anyone would mistake for a NY Giants fan. That franchise's very existence hovers above me like a winged demon in a Hieronymus Bosch lithograph, tormenting me. But still, I can appreciate a great human interest story. Like the Giants moving up into the back third of the first round of the draft to select Jaxson Dart. This was quite a moment:
The move was a bold, dramatic one. Something an otherwise by-the-numbers draft needed. It gave them their next Franchise QB hopeful. Energized their fanbase. And most importantly of all, gave the NYC tabloids, the entire blogosphere and the social media landscape something we've desperately lacking for a couple of years now. A New York quarterback's superstar mom.
Not since Zach Wilson's mom Lisa burst onto the scene in dramatic fashion have we had this critical need in our culture met:
Lisa was an absolute firebrand. A headline manufacturing plant that worked around the clock. A no-nosense, shoot-from-the-hip Valkyrie who didn't suffer fools gladly and was always on the lookout for new and different fucks not to give.
I speak of Mrs. Wilson in the past tense not because she went away, but because it's been a full season now since her son appeared in a game. For the time being he's got a spot on the Dolphins QB depth chart. But with him out of the country's biggest media market and staying in the news, the light on her fame has dimmed somewhat of late.
And now stepping into the role of NY QB mom is Kara Dart:
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By no means am I suggesting this rookie is going to provide blogworthy content the way Lisa Wilson did. In the same way you wouldn't ask her son to be the next Phil Simms or the next Eli Manning, all we can expect is that she'll be the first Kara Dart. Her authentic self. But she already stole the show in Round 1. And seems poised for potential greatness in her own right. Wife. Sports mom. Gym rat. Fitness warrior:
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And soon to be legend.
Well played, Giants. Congratulations, Jaxson. And welcome to all that awaits you as a media superstar, Kara Dart. Here's to many great years to come.