You'll Never Guess Who's Pushing The Dumbest NFL Draft Narrative on All of Social Media (It's Darren Rovell Talking About Potential Future Money Lost)
I know it's a dangerous game to play as a Barstool Sports blogger to call out anybody at all for dumb tweets. I once tweeted a high thought while sitting in a Five Guys, and to this day it legitimately may be the dumbest collection of words on all of X.com.
Forgot about labor. Could have happened to anyone (not really). Idk how the hell I let that one fly.
But Darren Rovell has been on one lately. Even for him. It all started with.... well it started when Darren was born... but this recent run he's been on started with him insisting on being the wet blanket he is in response to a moment on The Yak where Big Cat pulled a "1986 Fleer Michael Jordan Rookie Card".
A pretty rare pull, considering he opened just 4 packs. It's a card that sells online for thousands, if not tens of thousands of dollars. Don't ask me if Big Cat pulling that card was somehow manufactured. I don't fucking know. I'm pretty confident I know The Yak guys well enough that they wouldn't attempt such a bold-faced lie for what was by Yak standards some pretty run-of-the-mill content. No way is the juice worth the squeeze there. Idk what the Ludex card guys are capable of doing. Maybe they intentionally give Big Cat a pack they knew had a Michael Jordan card in it. Idk how the world of cards works, or how difficult that would be to do. But either way, the Michael Jordan cards are allegedly in 1 out of 11 of those packs. They didn't defy any crazy odds. Regardless, it was a fun and harmless moment. Personally, I wish they would have eaten the card right there on the spot. But still, it was a fun enough couple hours on the internet.
But of course Darren Rovell has to be fucking weird about it.
That first tweet was actually fine. He's making the same point I just made. They didn't hit the lottery. It's very Rovell of him to immediately put a damper on someone's fun. But whatever. It was after that when he just started lying about things.
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Then proceeded to spend his afternoon well-actuallying anyone on the internet who derived any enjoyment from one random card pulling episode of a daily YouTube show. Just annoying behavior. Then of course, since he got some attention (all negative attention, but attention nonetheless), he just continues beating the horse to death. Refusing to let anybody for a second think Big Cat's card pull was more impressive than it actually was. And refusing to stop being bullied around the internet by Steven Cheah.
Even if you're technically right. Which I'm sure Darren Rovell is. Being "technically right" is kinda his whole annoying thing. No shit most people don't make money pulling cards. It's literally gambling. That's how gambling works. The point is, when Steven Cheah is dominating you underneath every post, you know what you're doing must really fucking stink. No offense, Steven.
I say all that to say… Darren Rovell did something annoying yet against last night. Of all the dumb NFL Draft narratives and angles people can take, Darren has managed to come up with the dumbest. During last night's Round 1 of the NFL Draft, Darren blessed us with the worst "fact" of the night. Idk why this is the angle he's deciding to take on the draft this year, but it's a really, really bad one.
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That is just so stupid for so many reasons. For one, he's just hopping on the Shedeur Sanders insult bandwagon. Naturally, Darren Rovell would go for the easiest target. But mostly, you can say that about any human in the world with NFL draft eligibility left. You can say it about anyone, in regards to anything. I have personally lost hundreds of millions of dollars since not investing in Bitcoin when it was at $1 back in 2011. By Darren's logic, everybody is born a multi-multi-billionaire, but as we grow older we continuously lose potential money by making poor decisions and not performing up to our very peak potential. At 6 years old when we get our first report card and it becomes apparent we aren't generational geniuses, we lose potential billions. When we first play t-ball and aren't freakishly head and shoulders better than our peers, that's another few hundred million gone from our future bank accounts. I'd shudder to see a running total of how much potential future money I'm hemorrhaging on a daily basis.
You can't lose what you don't have Darren. Obviously, I get why it's different with Shedeur. I'm not too stupid to understand where Darren is coming from. There was a time when people thought Shedeur Sanders would be the #1 pick. But then things happened that caused him to slip. Some of those things Shedeur did to himself. But I don't even think that's entirely fair to say. It is to some degree. I'm sure his interviews weren't great. But Shedeur Sanders never should have been projected #1 in the first place. I feel like he himself just claimed to be the best QB in the draft one day and all the mock draft experts just believed him for some reason. But the minute things became real, and NFL scouts & GM's really locked into the draft, and teams got serious about their research, it became apparent that Shedeur was not a #1 pick. He doesn't have a strong arm. He's not fast. He gets "off schedule" a lot (I keep hearing that). He's cocky as all hell (which could be great, or could be really really terrible). In no world should he have been projected #1. I refuse to believe it was only about the interviews. If you have legitimate #1 pick caliber talent, interviews alone don't make you fall THAT far. He just isn't that good. I think Ebo was spot on today on Mostly Sports
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Back to Darren's dumb ass. If you want to play the "potential money" game, you can't just stop at the draft. Now that Shedeur has slipped to at least the 2nd round, in a hypothetical world where he does turn out to be a superstar, there's a chance he could free agency a year earlier. Meaning he gets paid earlier, and makes up some of that money he "lost" on draft night. And if you think the Sanders family isn't going to sell merchandise, or find some way to profit off Shedeur slipping in the draft, I've got a potential future bridge to sell you. There's a million different things that can happen, Darren. All you had to do is tweet out the rookie pay scale. That's all the information you're providing. 
"Assuming they could have gone No. 1". That's just a preposterous way to look at the draft. Was Aaron Rodgers at any point even supposed to be the #1 overall pick? I know he fall way further than expected, but if I remember correctly, Alex Smith was the consensus #1 pick in 2005. Same with Will Levis. Maybe at some point in Levis' college career, somebody declared that he was their #1 prospect. But he certainly wasn't close to that come draft night. And was Matt Leinart at any point supposed to be drafted ahead of Mario Williams, Reggie Bush, and Vince Young? I don't remember it that way. Just when I think Darren Rovell can't get any weirder about sports… he always finds a way.
This ends my Darren Rovell vent blog. I really can't stand the way he is sometimes. Maybe I'm just lashing out because I'm now realizing how much money I lost last night as well… how much money I've lost in my lifetime… how much money I've lost just today while writing this blog… damn… If you can manage to calculate that for me Darren, be my guest. I can't help but be deathly curious to find out how much money I could have right now.