It Doesn't Matter Who They Draft, The Miami Dolphins Will Fuck This Up

The NFL Draft is just two days away, and for most fans, it’s one of the most exciting days of the year. Teams that were terrible last season have a chance to turn their franchise around overnight. Roster holes that once felt unfixable suddenly get patched up.

But that kind of hope isn’t universal. See, in my world, the NFL Draft is dreadful because I already know that no matter who the Miami Dolphins pick, they’re going to screw it up. This team has been nothing but an utter embarrassment over the last 25 years. It doesn't matter how good or how bad the roster is this team will always find a way to fuck it up. The Miami Dolphins could get a personal message from God himself telling them to draft a certain player and they'd find a way to fuck it up. 

And it’s not even about the player being a bust that’s honestly the least of my concerns. The Dolphins will blow this draft because Chris Grier is still the general manager. Grier has missed on so many picks I’ve lost count. Sure, he’s hit on a few as well, but that’s not the problem. The problem is that when he does get it right, he doesn’t keep the talent around. It like finding a virgin wife just to hand her over to someone else. It's fucking insane.

So at this point, it doesn’t even matter if the player is good or not they’ll be gone eventually either way. Unless, of course, you’re a quarterback with a broken hip who’s played one full season in four years then you’ll get a massive extension. But if you’re a player who’s shown both production and availability? You might as well start looking for your second contract somewhere else. And I mean no disrespect to Tua. I'm simply making the point that Grier's decision making is HORRIBLE. Tua is a good starter that's about it. But we've had all-pro players walk out the door with NOTHING in return and I'm sick of it. 

As far as I’m concerned, with the 13th pick in the 2025 NFL Draft, the Miami Dolphins might as well select no one.