Does Ryan Whitney Dye His Hair? Dave Portnoy (Who Is Not Fat) Sure Thinks So
Look I don't have a dog in this fight, just wanted to raise awareness about a few facts. Most importantly that Dave Portnoy is NOT fat. But we'll get to that in a bit.
To catch you up, the most recent Unnamed Show episode centered around 2 contentious points… Dave (and friends/the entire internet) believe Ryan Whitney MUST be dying his hair.
How else can you explain him looking like Creed Bratton in his youthful prime?
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Which Whitney vehemently denies. All while continuing to sling mud about a perceived weight gain from Dave.
Who again, is not fat. Cannot stress that enough.
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It's an impressive spin zone and I got nothing personal against Whit to assume he's lying.
But also how can you trust a guy who sees an alpha male jackhammer relaxing and immediately tries to discredit them as disgustingly fat?
Sad!
If anything, my eyes are seeing visible abs right there. I'm sure if Hugh Jackman was lying down like that it'd look exactly the same. Maybe Whit got a little blinded from all that Miami sun shining in? It's widely known that giant mansion layouts can create some weird lighting angles, it's why you always see the Kardashians taking their pictures outside.
But if Whitney says internet cameras are the reason his hair looks darker, not some dye he's injecting into his skull? I'll consider that's the truth for now.
Let's just chill with the slander about a great man who loves eating pizza. And loves putting food on OUR tables at Barstool Sports, Ryan Whitney included.
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There's no greater more selfless human being out there today really. Just breaks my heart seeing the internet flood Dave's mentions with unfair AI-generated slop like this.
Be better out there internet. Choose love, ONE time. And be thankful this good man kept eating & reviewing for the betterment of earth itself. Without him doing that I'd certainly be face down in a drained pool somewhere.
Thank YOU Dave Portnoy!
And if you love food follow our new @VivaLaFood page with every Barstool review, recipe, & top spot to dine