California Mayor Wants to Solve His City's Homeless Problem By Giving Them "All The Fentanyl They Want", Clearly Doesn't Know How Homeless People Work

Mayor Rex Parris of Lancaster, California is clearly out of his depth. I'm sure he thinks he's making a cheeky point by suggesting an outlandish, yet technically effective solution to combat his city's homeless problem. Just give them free fentanyl. The homeless people will be happy for the free drugs. The citizens of Lancaster will be happy because for the next month they'll get to step over a new dead homeless person on every block. It's a win-win. 

I hate to break it to fans of Mayor Rex Parris and his extreme homeless policies, but Mayor Rex has no idea what he's talking about. Aside from the obvious problems that come with flooding your city's streets with free drugs. Like those drugs will merely circulate within the violent homeless community, and at no point find their way into the hands of kids, students, or any of the non-homeless citizens Mayor Parris isn't trying to kill. But you can't kill off the homeless with fentanyl. Homeless people can handle their drugs. You can't kill a man who takes his meals out of the dumpster behind the Sakura Buffet with that grain of sand-sized fentanyl crystal from the picture with the penny.

Worst you're gonna do is render them standing at a 90-degree angle, drooling all over the pavement for a few hours. But that isn't going to last. With free daily fentanyl, their bodies will build up a tolerance. By giving your homeless population their fix for free, you're just gonna make them stronger. Mayor Rex might fuck around and accidentally create a race of super humans. All any homeless drug addict needs to get his (or her) shit together is a steady supply of drugs. Not having drugs is literally the only problem they have in life. If you take care of that for them, they'll be golden. They'll find a shave, a shower, and a job interview in no-time. If Mayor Rex ever went through with this, the homeless guy who spits at woman and fights street cats on the corner of 10th and Jackman will be running against him as a Democrat next election cycle. And he'll be literate too. He'll have ideas. And he'll have mobilized the now thriving & capable fentanyl-fueled homeless Lancastrians. He'll win the election. Rex will be out of a job. The republicans will lose control of Lancaster. Lancaster will become even more homeless friendly. The whole thing is gonna backfire. 

That's best case scenario. Worst case is they use their newfound powers for evil and start committing crimes more efficiently. Then you've just created an ever scarier group of homeless. But you're not killing them off with drugs. You don't beat Steph Curry by forcing him to take 3-pointers. That's crazy. Bad idea, Rex. If you want the homeless people out of Lancaster, you're gonna have to do it the old fashion way. Put them on a bus back to San Francisco.