Augusta Has Been Dreading This Moment For 14 Years...
Augusta National. Getty Images.Saturday, April 9, 2011. A then 21-year-old Rory McIlroy went into the final round holding a 4-stroke lead on the rest of the field. He either held the lead himself, or at least had a share of the lead from Thursday through Saturday. It seemed that this would be the moment the young lad from Northern Ireland would win his first career major.
Then he went ahead and carded an 80 in the final round to finish outside of the top 10. Augusta felt that they just narrowly dodged a bullet then, and they had been successfully continuing to dodge that bullet for the next 13 years. Because as we all know, the winner of each year's Masters Tournament is then in charge of selecting the menu for the following year's Champions' Dinner. A dinner which frequently features cuisine from the home region of the previous year's champion.
Northern Irish cuisine offers classic dishes like Ulster Fry, Irish Stew, Soda Bread, and something called a Belfast Bap. In other words…gross!
machdas. Getty Images.Imagine being a Masters Champion. Achieving one of the greatest honors the game has to offer, and getting a seat at the table every year for the Champions' Dinner. And now next year you're going to be served some sloppy beans, toast, and half a tomato. All because this sick bastard finally got the monkey off of his back 14 years later and got the job done at Augusta National.
It was an incredible moment for Rory. It was an incredible moment for golf to add a 6th member to the exclusive career Grand Slam club. We got to witness one of the best moments in sports over the last decade or so. But in the back of every former champion's mind yesterday, they had to know that next year's dinner is going to suck.
Just look at this chocolate chip cookie skillet from Scottie's menu this year. Looks like the most delectable dessert item you've ever seen.
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It's fucking immaculate. It looks so good. Just make that a staple of the dinner moving forward, ya know? I get that Rory takes an immense amount of pride in where he comes from. But for the love of god, brother, just pretend like you're from Texas next year when you're coming up with the Champions' Dinner menu. You've already done enough for Northern Ireland as it is. I'm sure they could understand if you go off the board a little bit with your menu.