Extinct Animals are Being Brought Back to Life and OF COURSE We Have Tom Brady and Tiger Woods to Thank For It

Mike Ehrmann. Getty Images.

Sure, we've just witnessed one of the great scientific miracles of all time:

With even more impressive breakthroughs on the horizon:

But if you thought such achievements could be possible without the direct involvement of the two most achievement-oriented members of our own species, well then you simply haven't been paying attention over the past 30 years or so:

Sports Illustrated - Colossal Biosciences, a pioneering de-extinction company, has made a monumental breakthrough by successfully reviving the dire wolf, a species extinct for over 12,500 years. This achievement … is now a reality, marking a significant leap in scientific innovation and conservation. …

The company's roster of investors also includes celebrity athletes like NFL legend Tom Brady and golf icon Tiger Woods, who are lending their star power to Colossal's mission of reviving extinct species like the woolly mammoth, the dodo, and the Tasmanian tiger. Brady expanded saying, “I’m so excited to be an investor to one of the most fascinating science companies today, Colossal.

"Last month Colossal showed the advancements made bringing back the woolly mammoth by presenting the world with the woolly mouse. And this month the company gives us another science first, the world’s first animal back from extinction - the dire wolf. The dire wolf will not only break into the pop culture zeitgeist, it will also raise awareness of what is possible in science which will inspire kids of all ages. This is just the beginning.”

Call what Colossal Bioscience is doing what you will. Choose any word. Miraculous. Historic. Ground-breaking. Innovative. Ingenious. Visionary. All these terms apply. But one word in particular describes this noble endeavor.

Winning. 

That's what this is, at its core. And no two beings walking the Earth understand winning better than Brady and Woods. This is nothing less than human ingenuity beating nature itself. It's our brainiest science guys evolutionary biology on its home field. So it's only logical that Brady and Woods would be in on the ground floor of this Promethean endeavor. 

Sure, we can give credit where it's due to the biology nerds, combing through the billions of strands of mammal DNA to make this happen. But without the leadership of their investors, they'd all be in an office somewhere filling out orders for Ancestry.com or something. Instead, they're working for the biggest winners of our lifetimes, pushing the limits of our knowledge into the life sciences. 

In essence, they're dominating extinction itself like Tiger did Pebble Beach in the 2000 US Open. They made sure the dire wolf came back like it was down 28-3 in life's great Super Bowl. Animal genomes stand no more chance against these greats than thousands of golfers and defenses ever did. They won on the field. On the course. In life. In business. And now, in science. There is simply nothing these metahumans cannot succeed at. So it only follows they'd be the ones ushering in this brave new world of ours.

It all makes so much sense. It's even poetic. The dire wolf and the woolly mammoth, being brought back by Tiger and the GOAT. We could expect nothing less.