CAN MEN AND WOMEN TRULY BE JUST FRIENDS?

Can men and women truly be just friends? It’s an age-old question, but I’ve never understood why—it seems like the answer is pretty clear- No, they can’t.

Sure, they can be friendly coworkers, part of the same social group, or even maintain a platonic (just learned what this meant two weeks ago) relationship, but unless there’s absolutely zero mutual attraction, the odds are stacked against them. In the grand scheme of things, a purely platonic friendship between a man and a woman is rare.

Let’s start with workplace friendships. Co-workers can get along, bond over how fucking annoying someone is, and even grab drinks after work. But at the end of the day, it’s a professional environment. I know it’s ironic hearing this from me, but most people aren’t as dumb as I am and know better than to dip their pen in company ink. A couple drunk hook ups are cool as long as it’s back to being friends on Monday morning. However, for the most part if it wasn’t for work being the common ground the guy and girl wouldn’t be hanging out. 

Then there’s the classic group dynamic. In my opinion, this is the most common form of male-female friendship. Within a group of friends, guys and girls can coexist just fine, but here’s the catch—they rarely hang out one-on-one. There’s usually a glue holding the group together, like one of the guys dating one of the girls. But the moment that relationship ends, the whole dynamic shifts, and often, so does the so-called friendship. It’s funny when I hear Ella telling me “I have a bunch of guy friends” but the only time they hangout is in a group of 12 at Old Crowe during a Cubs game. Hate to break it to you kid but those are drinking buddies not your friends. 

Now, let’s talk about the rarest case: the truly platonic friendship. This probably happens less than one percent of the time, but since my now-deceased dog was a hermaphrodite, I feel obligated to acknowledge the one-percenters. Typically, it’s the guy who struggles with keeping things platonic. He’ll be the supportive friend, the shoulder to cry on, the one who listens to endless rants about terrible exes—all while secretly waiting for the day she turns to him and says, “Let’s have sex.” And look, I’ve been there, and in some cases I still am there. I respect the hustle but I also know the game and 99% of the time dudes are waiting for their moment to lay pipe. 

Of course, I’ll admit there are instances where neither party wants to fuck each other. In those rare cases, yes, men and women can be just friends. But let’s be real—it happens no more than 1% of the time.