3 Criminal Masterminds Charged With Breaking into Joe Burrow's House are Among the 7 Busted for Robbing Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce Too
It goes without saying this hasn't been the greatest February for Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce. They each put in their worst postseason performance in front of a record TV audience. The latter's rumored plans to get engaged on the field while covered in confetti were thwarted by a blowout loss. His future is very much in doubt and the Chiefs have reportedly given him a deadline for making up his mind on retirement. So both of them could use some good news.
And they've just gotten it. Besides sharing the bond that comes from being teammates, future Hall of Famers, friends, and obscenely overexposed TV pitchmen, they're also linked by being victims of break-ins while they were on a road trip. But lucky for them, police have made arrests. And it would appear their burglars were some of the same incompetent dipshits charged with robbing Joe Burrow:
These bumbling ignoramuses:
It seems this theft ring's MO is to steal one-of-a-kind, custom made items and instead of, I don't know, fencing the property and keeping the money, they pose for photos with the merchandise. Allegedly. Innocent until proven guilty, and all that:
Source - Federal prosecutors in Tampa on Tuesday charged seven purported members of a South American theft group that allegedly targeted the homes of Kansas City Chiefs stars Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce and other professional athletes around the country.
According to the complaint, the men were members of a South American theft group that burglarized the homes of athletes in the NFL and NBA while they were away or playing games at the time. The defendants are accused of stealing valuables worth more than $2 million, according to the complaint.
The defendants -- Pablo Zuniga Cartes, 24, Ignacio Zuniga Cartes, 20, Bastian Jimenez Freraut, 27, Jordan Quiroga Sanchez, 22, Bastian Orellano Morales, 23, Alexander Huiaguil Chavez, 24, and Sergio Ortega Cabello, 38, all of Chile -- were charged with conspiracy to commit interstate transportation of stolen property. If convicted, they each face a maximum of 10 years in prison.
The complaint includes a photograph of three of the defendants -- Pablo Zuniga Cartes, Ignacio Zuniga Cartes and Freraut -- as well as a fourth unidentified individual posing with a safe and jewelry that authorities said was taken shortly after the November 2024 burglary at the home of Milwaukee Bucks player Bobby Portis. …
"Also of note is that P. Zuniga Cartes is wearing a Kansas City Chiefs shirt in the photo," the FBI special agent stated in the complaint, noting that he believed it to be a reference to the October 2024 burglaries of the two Kansas City Chiefs players.
So yeah, just a word of advice for anyone looking to get into the B&E racket. Breaking into a place and stealing the stuff someone worked hard for is supposed to be a noble profession. In the proud tradition of icons of the business such as Aladdin, Catwoman, or the Hamburglar. If you're going to follow in their mighty footsteps, take some pride in your work. Make a plan and execute it like a professional. We respect those who pull off a proper heist, like Ocean's 11. Not just some collection of raging imbeciles without the common sense to not pose with some highly recognizable athlete's completely unique jewelry.
Advertisement
If you're going to halfass it as badly as these guys, you might as well just become common street thieves. Smashing and grabbing parked cars, or luring some John into a dark alley and stealing his wallet and phone. There's no nobility in that kind of work. No pride of workmanship. No romance. I'm happy for Burrow, Mahomes, Kelce and Portis that the police cracked this caper and will hopefully get all their stuff back. But I weep as the state of the criminal underworld. We used to be a proper country.