Pour One Out for Jalen Hurts Who Was Kidnapped and Forced to Spend a Day at Disney World
Good question @NFL. Just real quickly off the top of my head. Maybe in New Orleans with the rest of his teammates? Perhaps back in the comfort of his own $2,000 per month rented apartment in Cherry Hill, New Jersey? Back at his parents house in Texas? Literally anywhere else in the entire world besides a children's theme park where he's followed around by cameras to fulfill an obligation the NFL has to The Walt Disney Co. so they can tack on an extra few million dollars to a TV deal. Or something like that. Maybe Jalen Hurts is actually paid a little something to go there. I don't know what that contract looks like. But every time I see a Super Bowl MVP at Disney World the Monday after the big game, my gut reaction is always, "Damn... kinda sucks he has to do that."
While half population of Philadelphia is still nursing a hangover, Jalen Hurts is whisked off to Orlando to participate in a viral marketing campaign. Now to be fair, I don't know a damn thing about Jalen Hurts and what he would prefer to be doing right now. I'm projecting my own feelings onto him. I just see a man standing on a float in with another man in full Mickey Mouse costume, knowing full-well that earlier this morning, Jalen was smoking a cigar and celebrating his life's crowning achievement with his teammates.
I also know that the Eagles had a banger of a party somewhere in the city of New Orleans after the game. A party that I imagine lasted into the wee hours of the morning. A party I can find no evidence of Jalen Hurts being at. Would Jalen have liked to go, but didn't because he had to catch a flight in a few hours? No idea. I'm just asking questions. I don't think Jalen Hurts is a big party guy regardless. But I know Nick Sirianni and Saquon Barkley were there. Maybe if he wasn't scheduled to be in Disney World in 5 minutes, he would have liked to celebrate a bit as well.
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Again, I don't know how Jalen Hurts thinks. But putting myself in Jalen Hurts shoes, even if I'm not drinking, when I think about things I would prefer to be doing in the 24 hours following me winning my first Super Bowl, whatever that thing may be, it 1000% looks nothing like this.
He appears to be the only Eagles player there. He doesn't have any children. I'm sure having children would make the whole VIP Disney World experience a lot more enjoyable. He does have a fiancee, who for her sake I hope is one of the two girls enjoying this almost completely empty roller coaster ride with her Super Bowl Champion husband-to-be.
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But still, it's only natural to wonder if as Jalen Hurts sat in the second car of the Tron Lightcycle Run behind a strange man with a GoPro strapped to the back of a bike helmet, if at any point he thought to himself, "God damn it Saquon… 2.3 yards per carry? You and your kids would have loved this bullshit…"
Obviously you take the good with the bad. I'm sure he's not miserable. You'd always rather go down in history as the Super Bowl MVP, even if it means one extra day of obligations. But the NFL & Disney could at least force a few more teammates to go with him. Or would it be that bad if they pushed back the Super Bowl MVP Disney World Tour to Tuesday? Or even do the parade at night? Early afternoon is way too quick of a turnaround. That's no way for the NFL to treat their Super Bowl MVP. The face of their league for the 2024-2025 NFL season. His teammates are probably doing something awesome right now. They're probably still out partying, or relaxing in a pool somewhere. It's very funny to me that the Super Bowl MVP has no choice in the matter. If you give the performance of your lifetime in the most important game of your career, you're rewarded with an immediate extra day of work. A day of work in an entirely different state that starts roughly 12 hours after the conclusion of the 4th quarter. Collect your trophy, do not pass go, and report straight to Disney World.
The Player's Union really needs to ban together and advocate for better treatment of their Super Bowl MVP's. At least give them some options. Maybe make the experience a little more adult friendly, instead of having Jalen Hurts spend his day living out a 10-year old girl's dream. But congrats on the Super Bowl, Jalen Hurts. I hope Mickey Mouse was very accommodating. And I wish you some well-deserved rest very soon.