Sydney Sweeney, Fake Orgasms, And Mayo. Oh My!!!
Not to go all gray beard on you guys, but I miss when Super Bowl commercials were kept a secret until The Big Game™. Sure it caused absolute havoc with your body since your mind was trained to take a bathroom break as soon as the network's football music let you know an ad was coming up but fear of missing out on a great Super Bowl commercial that cost millions of dollars made you hold it in until later in the night.
But still, there was something magical about figuring out the frogs were saying Bud-Weis-Er, seeing a forgotten celebrity come out of moth balls to pitch some website, or getting a boner among family and friends while watching Ali Landry eat 3D Doritos in a laundromat.
However something changed over the years. I'm not sure if companies wanted more bang for their considerable buck and wanted their commercial's shelf life to last longer than the Monday after the Super Bowl or if the amount of traction GoDaddy got for their "banned ads" changed a seismic shift since countless hornies would juice their view numbers before the kickoff for the Super Bowl happened.
Regardless of the reason, commercials like the one at the top of this blog are now coming out a week before the Super Bowl teams even arrive in their city. I personally hate it but also realize there is an entire generation who just thinks this is how life is. Those people also may have no fucking clue why a 63-year-old Meg Ryan is fake popping off in a diner with Billy Crystal, if the Gen Z'ers even know who those actors are, have seen "When Harry Met Sally", or even watch the Super Bowl live. But they do know Sydney Sweeney, which is why Hellman's will likely be living in all their social media apps for the next 10 days whether they care about Patrick Mahomes going for a threepeat or not.
So I guess good work by Hellman's for getting into those algorithms while giving all of us in new(ish) traditional media a chance to capitalize on some clicks using Sydney Sweeney's good name since she has been putting up Mahomesian numbers on her own Instagram over the last year.
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