Things I Never Knew: The Cream Drips Out of The Donut Throughout The Day

I’m officially done sitting next to my female colleagues. Don’t get me wrong—I love having them around. They bring a beautiful balance to the office. However, I am simply not built to endure their conversations.

I used to think the boys' middle school lunch table was the closest I’d ever get to experiencing World War II. Turns out, the girls' lunch table is Hiroshima.

This morning, I was sipping on my Stella Blue coffee, casually checking which soccer games were on today. Then, from my left, I caught snippets of the girls chatting. Their conversations usually revolve around TikTok trends and which celebrities they find attractive. I’ll occasionally chime in, just to remind them I can hear what’s going on.

But today was different—it turned into a science lesson I wasn’t prepared for. What started as an innocent discussion about birth control quickly took a sharp turn. I asked, “Does birth control kill the cream that goes into the donut?” They replied, “Yeah, it stops it from reaching the end zone, but the cream itself eventually drips out over time.”

And that’s when my brain broke.

I had always assumed the “donut” held the cream inside and that the defense team took care of it one by one. Turns out, gravity has a role in everything.

And no, I don’t think I’m exposing myself here. I’ve had my fair share of experience. I just always thought the whole “peeing after” thing was to prevent UTIs. Now I realize there’s more to it than that. Sorry—I don’t exactly fill the donut, roll over, and ask if it’s dripping. Usually, I just pass out.

So yeah, safe to say I’m done with these morning conversations. Time to retreat to the gambling cave where I belong.