Loving Couple, Ages 29 & 67, Arrested for Sex on a Laundromat Floor on Christmas Eve. Bonus: It Was Not Their First Bust.
Sometimes in this grim vale of tears we're all passing through, you need a story of romantic love to give you hope. And as we've seen in movies like Baby Driver, the laundromat is often the perfect place for it.
I don't know what it is exactly. Maybe it's the intimacy of one's clothes spinning around behind the glass for all to see that just sets the heart a-flutter. It could be the down time, with nothing to do but wait to hear the buzzer for your cycle to be done, that gives couples the chance to build chemistry. Or in the case of this particular film, maybe it's the presence of Lily James, who any adult male would fall in love if he met her in a North Korean forced labor camp.
But whatever the dynamic, that romantic instinct kicked in for two crazy kids in a Wisconsin laundromat over the holidays, and they just couldn't help themselves. Which has become a pattern for them:
Source - A Waukesha man and woman who reportedly had sex in the lobby of the county jail last May have been charged after they allegedly repeated the conduct at a Waukesha laundromat on Christmas Eve.
Desmound Cleveland, 29, was charged Monday in Waukesha County Circuit Court with a count of disorderly conduct, with a penalty enhancer for repeat criminality. ...
Karen Hill, 67, of Waukesha, has been charged with disorderly conduct and two counts of bail jumping. ...
[T]he owner of Flash Laundromat on East Broadway reported to police Dec. 24 that upon reviewing security video of the establishment, he could see Cleveland and Hill lying under a blanket on the floor of the laundromat, apparently engaging in sexual intercourse. ...
"An unsuspecting patron is sitting not far from where this was happening the entire time. Also, another patron is in the laundromat doing their laundry," the complaint said. "As the patron is leaving, the patron looks in the direction of the two of them but it is unknown what was actually observed. Based on the repetitive thrusting motions made and that the defendants were naked from the waist down to their mid-calves ... adding, "at no time in the video are the descendants seen using the laundromat for cleaning clothes."...
The pair were charged after they were seen on surveillance video having sex in the lobby of the county jail last May, covering up under jackets. Hill told police in that case they went to the jail after she was told to leave a group home after Cleveland visited here there; she admitted to consensual sex in the jail lobby, the complaint said.
Look, I'm a Christmas Eve Mass followed by dinner at home and maybe It's a Wonderful Life type of guy. But my philosophy is live and let live. I do me, and Desmound Cleveland and Karen Hill do them. In the most literal sense. Which in their case, is dropping trou to their mid-calves, climbing under some improvised covers, and taking the express train to Pound Town. The heart wants what it wants.
You can say it's inappropriate. You can empathize with those other poor, wretched souls whose lives are so filled with poverty and despair they're at a laundromat on what's supposed to be The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. But you can't argue these two crazy kids haven't found their soulmates. Theirs is a perfect love match. I defy anyone to find anyone like them. Search the world over and tell me you can come up with another couple so physically compatible that they'll climb to the summit of Bone Mountain in a smelly prison lobby and the dirty, depressing floor of a public laundry during Noel. Forget it. You can't.
All any of us can do is celebrate their romantic and physical love, and be happy for them. When they get out of jail, if they're still young enough to be sexually active, it's going to be the best reunion sex ever. And wherever they meet again, you can be sure there'll be security cameras there to capture it once again.