Gucci Mane Has Purchased Wife Keyshia Kaoir a Private Island For Her Birthday
That's the dream right there. From selling drugs on the streets of East Atlanta, to going to prison for selling drugs in East Atlanta, to making millions of dollars in the music industry rapping about selling drugs in East Atlanta, to buying your hot thick wife a private island. The American Dream. Congratulations Gucci. You fucking did it. I knew this marriage was going to last from the moment you proposed to Keyshia standing up at a Hawks game. Just how every little girl imagines it.
Backwards hat, Zone 6 basketball jersey, ring made entirely of diamonds, your husband-to-be's hit song Wasted (feat. Plies) blasts throughout State Farm Arena. Gucci Mane knows how to treat a woman. But you gotta be careful when you get into the private island game, Gucci. When people hear private island, they immediately think you're diddling kids. Jeffrey Epstein did irreparable damage to the image of island guys. You gotta make it abundantly clear that's NOT what you plan to do on your island. Maybe release a statement. Or write a song about it. Just to nip any suspicion in the bud.
The other problem with a private island is you gotta keep the whole thing livable. Buying an island is really just buying a plot of land. It's what you put on the island that makes it cool. But from the looks of it, Gucci's island is attached to some sort of hotel or resort. Maybe there's some amenities that come with it. It certainly doesn't look remote. There appears to be staff walking across the bridge. I'd imagine there are restaurants and stores within walking, or at least driving distance. Door Dash might even deliver there. It very possibly has an address. Which is admittedly much less bad ass than buying a remote private island somewhere in the Caribbean. But also much less pedophile-seeming. Gucci was practical with his private island purchase. The Trap God is a sensible king. I appreciate that.
Happy birthday Keyshia. And congratulations to the happy couple. Can't wait to see videos from the first party the La Flare family throws on their new island. And fingers crossed a few years from now we don't get a New York Post headline featuring the words, "Gucci", "Private Island", and "Scandal". I would be crushed to find out they got Gucci too.