Jim Harbaugh Won His Chargers Players Over on Day 1 by Telling Them the Story of How He Remembers the Day He Was Born, and I Hate the Bears More Than Ever Because He's Not Coaching Them

Dante1/08/2025 5:20 PM

I fucking hate that George McCaskey entrusted Kevin fuckig Warren with the keys to the Chicago Bears.

Jim Harbaugh should be coaching the Bears, leading them to relevancy for the first time in ages, and providing Bears fans with A+ content like this as he takes his young, over achieving team into the playoffs.

But nope.

Chicago Bears fans can't have nice things.

Because the people who run the team have no idea how to tell their ass from their elbow, or how to spot a snake oil salesman like Kevin Warren.

I'll get to Warren in a minute. Because I have quite a lot to write. But let's discuss Harbaugh first.

Under Harbaugh’s leadership, the Chargers have transformed from a mediocre squad into a formidable playoff contender. During a season that many thought they would be retooling and rebuilding, finding their footing with a new head coach. This team unloaded a ton of their most talented players during the off-season. I don't think anybody, even their most die-hard fans (shout out @diarrhea) could have predicted this team finishing 11-6 and making the wild card.) Speaking of fans, this team still has almost zero home-field advantage having just moved to LA a few years ago.

This season Harbaugh didn’t just manage his elite, yes elite, quarterback, Justin Herbert; he unleashed the beast. The Chargers are making the playoffs for only the second time in Herbert’s career, and it’s all thanks to Harbaugh’s uncanny ability to get the best out of his quarterbacks, like he has his entire career at every level. (Don't forget this man almost won a Super Bowl with Colin Kaepernick).

The Chargers went from a dismal 5-12 season in 2023 to an impressive 11-win season in 2024. That’s not just improvement; that’s a full-blown renaissance. Meanwhile, the Bears are still struggling to figure out just about everything.

Not going with Harbaugh, knowing his proven success developing young quarterbacks, while knowing you are drafting Caleb Williams is a fireable offense from top to bottom. Williams Poles and everybody in their rolodexes and call histories.

ESPECIALLY after seeing the results this season.

Harbaugh was the coach who can turn around any team, and Chicago let him slip through their fingers. Now, every win the Chargers notch is a painful reminder of what could have been. And the Bears were the team he wanted to come to. Which makes it even worse.

(Yes I know he had the Raiders and Broncos on his wish-list too. But Denver's headed to the playoffs so they can't feel bad with Payton, and the Raiders are the Raiders with or without TB12).

So how did this happen?

I have it on very high authority from a friend who works at Hallas Hall that I won't name (until he loses his job with the rest of this current regime after the McCaskey's clean house and start over for the 8th time since I moved here), that Kevin Warren landed his job by promising the McCaskey family he'd deliver on a new stadium for them. He boasted about all of his political friendships and made it sound like a new state of the art Bears stadium in downtown Chicago was a done deal with him on board.

After the Bears bought Arlington Racetrack, one of the nicest tracks in the United States, and leveled it, only to then not be able to strike a zoning deal with the city of Arlington Heights, (a move so Bears it hurts) they walked away from the negotiating table. (Arlington Heights' school board wants a measly $8.9 million a year from the Bears. The Bears are on the record being comfortable paying less than half of that ($3.6))

Some say the amount of negative karma attracted by doing this to such a beloved horse-racing venue is so staggering of a hex, that the Bears will be doomed forever.

They then began fielding offers from neighboring ~~shitholes~~ like Aurora, Waukegan, and Naperville.

In came Kevin Warren and his assurances that he'd be able to deliver the funding and the land the team needed from his good buddy- aka his "favorite mayor" - Brandon Johnson.

After all, he took the credit for getting the Vikings their new stadium in 2016 (U.S. Bank Stadium), and that was enough to swing the McCaskey's. His contract was up with the Big10. He wasn't getting offered another one. So the Bears were the perfect landing spot for him.

ESPN - The Big Ten made no tangible push to keep Warren since the news originally broke, as Warren's approval rating with conference athletic directors remains low and the churn of Big Ten presidents and chancellors -- a vast majority of the 14 have changed over since his hire in 2019 -- have left him without a strong bloc of people invested in his success.

Fast forward to the disastrous last season, which saw the Bears wind up 3-14 and landing the #1 pick in the draft thanks to Lovie Smith giving a giant fuck you to Texans ownership on his way out the door.

The Bears finally had a glimmer of hope. They had pieces in place for a decent offense to be formed around whoever they ended up going with in a draft class loaded with QB talent. OR, they could trade down, stockpile more picks in exchange for the #1, and continue to rebuild their roster.

Of course as we're all aware they decided to go all-in on Caleb Williams with that pick and commit to a future with him as the franchise quarterback. And savior.

But what about the bufoon of a head coach they had in place who'd clearly shown was in over his head- Matt Eberflus?

Did they make a change and start clean with a new coach for their incoming new QB?

With Jim Harbaugh heading for the hills in the wake of a Michigan scandal that coincidence former Big 10 commissioner Kevin Warren spearheaded, Harbaugh was available. And by all reports, was very interested in "coming back" to coach the team that drafted him in 1987- the Chicago Bears.

But that was never going to happen over Warren's dead body.

This all started back in 2020 during Covid. Kevin Warren kept going back and forth on deciding if he'd allow the BIG10 to play football. Fairly, he was as concerned as everybody else was about the pandemic sweeping the world at a time we still didn't know the true danger, or how contagious and deadly it was or wasn't.

BUT- As Jim Harbaugh pointed out, Warren had a son who was on Mississippi State's football team, and he didn't seem to see anything wrong with the SEC deciding it was safe to play.

On August 5th Warren said this about his son: "I have a son who's a football student-athlete in the SEC at Mississippi State. And, so, I've asked myself as a father, would I be comfortable for him to participate in the Big Ten based upon the testing policies, protocols and procedures we have in place? And as of today, the answer is yes."

Then, one week later, his mind changed.

“As a family, we’ve had many difficult discussions regarding this issues,” Warren said. “But the decisions we make in the B1G Conference we have to look at from a macro level. We need to focus on what’s right for our nearly 10,000 student-athletes at 14 institutions.”

Harbaugh, and others in the BIG10 were rightfully pissed off by the hypocrisy of Warren, and called him out for it.

That did not sit well with Warren.

43 days later, the BIG10's chancellors and presidents voted on their own to reverse Warren's decision, and salvage the season.

At the end of the season. Warren was gone. And not many of his contemporaries were surprised-

SEC commissioner Greg Sankey publicly slammed Warren,

stating "We need leaders today in college football and college sports, and not leaders who make a stop to build a resume and go on to do something else, but those who understand the problems that are real and demand our attention".

If this seems like a hit-piece on Kevin Warren that's because it is.

The guy is a used car salesman who has allowed a personal grudge he had with Harbaugh- unjustified at that- to punish an entire franchise and an entire fanbase.

It is the definition of the idiom- "cutting off your nose to spite your face."

And it's bullshit.

And speaking of bullshit, so is this this cat-and-mouse posturing Warren and his buddy Mayor Johnson are doing with the media, floating false narratives out there in hopes to try and scare Arlington Heights back to the table, thinking its some strong arm negotiating tactic. When all they're doing is pissing off the Kool-Aid Man JB by spreading lies and making him look bad in the process.