Armie Hammer To Star In Movie Somehow Called "The Dark Knight" By The Worst Director Alive

As David Spade once said about Eddie Murphy, "Look! A falling star!"

Armie Hammer, successful actor turned cannibal turned time share salesman, has returned to acting! The crazy thing is Hammer was at one time, a pretty good actor. This is a guy who had a major role in the most important film of this century (Best Picture nominee The Social Network) and the movie that put Timothee Chalamet on the map (yet another Best Picture nominee Call Me By Your Name). He worked with Leonardo DiCaprio and Clint Eastwood.

Those days appear to be over. Instead of David Fincher, he's now in a movie helmed by Uwe Boll...which has a plot that sounds oddly familiar.

SOURCE - In “The Dark Knight,” based on an original script by Boll, Hammer plays Sanders, who takes justice into his own hands as he sets out to hunt down criminals. While his crusade transforms him into a social media sensation and a hero in the eyes of the public, the local police chief sees him as a menace to society and aims to take him down.

But you're telling me that's not Batman and has nothing to do with Batman?

One thing we must give Hammer credit for is finally killing off the phrase "Any publicity is good publicity." This colloquialism does not seem to be accurate about being labeled as a cannibal. Going from Kenneth Branugh's glitzy "Death On The Nile" to this shitshow is beyond a fall from grace. Alec Baldwin shot someone on a movie he produced and is already doing SNL appearances again. Armie Hammer is doing movies Pauly Shore would turn down.

I can't say enough bad things about how terrible of a director Uwe Boll is. He's "won" a Worst Career Achievement award given by the Razzies. "Alone In The Dark" has a 1% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. That movie literally had Tara Reid play an archaeologist.

John Parra. Getty Images.

That same year (2005), he also made a movie called Bloodrayne, which was based on a video game of the same name. The budget was $25 million dollars. It made less than $4 million worldwide. Boll also seems like a very difficult person to be around. His most recent movie "First Shift" (his first movie in eight years while he tried the restaurant business) had a number of allegations of unfair labor practices. He has also threatened to box Quentin Tarantino and Michael Bay.

He's basically the last director any actor would want to work for. But that's where Armie Hammer's career has collapsed to. He's starring in a Batman-ripoff with literally the worst director since Ed Wood. This was a guy who a decade ago, you could have imagined actually playing Batman!

You can be a lot of things in Hollywood. But one thing you apparently can not be is a cannibal.