If The Penguin Doesn't Sweep At The Golden Globes Tonight, Hollywood Will Have Hell To Pay
The Golden Globes sneak up on me every year - and no, I'm not talking about Salma Hayek....
Taylor Hill. Getty Images.I'm referring to the award show where all the celebrities get progressively drunker and drunker throughout the night, sometimes leading to some great moments, sometimes leading to horribly awkward moments - and most fondly remembered recently for Ricky Gervais' various hosting years….
They're happening tonight on CBS at 8pm ET, hosted by Nikki Glaser - and this year I'm particularly interested in the Limited Series (Television) categories as 'The Penguin' has a few well-deserved noms….
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Since 'The Penguin' wrapped up, I figured the series/Colin Farrell/Cristin Milioti were EASY shoe-ins for every award they could possibly be nominated for. I didn't even think twice about it; there's no chance anybody in a limited series was able to outshine them this year. Farrell's transformation as Oz Cobb, Milioti's evolution from Sofia Falcone to Sofia Gigante….they were untouchable. It was a perfect-game masterclass in acting from start to finish.
Last night, however - when I realized the Golden Globes were upon us, I started reading a few articles about the nominees and was shocked to find out many are considering 'The Penguin' an underdog in all three categories they have noms in! Allegedly, 'Baby Reindeer' is the favorite for Best Limited Series, the lead guy from 'Baby Reindeer' is the favorite for Best Actor in a Limited Series, and Jodie Foster is the favorite for Best Actress in a Limited Series - FOR THE LATEST SEASON OF TRUE DETECTIVE!
I'll admit - I didn't watch 'Baby Reindeer'. I heard it was a dark twisted show full of weird sexual shit, and everyone I talked to about it said it was hard to get through, so I was not super intrigued. I do know that it stars first-time actor Richard Gadd playing himself in a story about his own life, though, and as good as he may have been, I find it hard to believe he'd deserve an acting award more than Colin Farrell here for….essentially playing himself. How much acting are you really doing there? It's more re-enacting than acting at that point, no? Meanwhile, Colin Farrell transformed from a hot Irish guy to a disgusting slimey Gotham City mobster and you didn't think about hot Irish Farrell once.
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Don't even get me started on Jodie Foster being the favorite for Best Actress, either. I was one of the foolish defenders of 'Night Country' who truly believed it was going somewhere until that horrid finale, where it wrapped things up in a way that just made us all realize we'd wasted our time. I still don't think Jodie Foster was bad in that season, persay, but she certainly didn't deliver anything special. There isn't a single scene I can point to from that season you could say was truly memorable for her from an acting standpoint. Meanwhile, Cristin Milioti put up like a dozen of those in 'The Penguin' - opposite Farrell, no less!
If 'The Penguin' doesn't wind up winning all three of these awards tonight, I've declared that Hollywood will have hell to pay. Do I know what that means? No. Not right now. But some quick research shows that 334 "experienced entertainment journalists representing 85 countries" vote on the Golden Globes….
47% (or 157) of those journalists are female, and I would never threaten a women as I am a classy, stand-up guy - but let's just say the 177 male voters' asses would be in the jackpot with Octagon Bob if fucking 'Baby Reindeer' takes down 'The Penguin' tonight. There will be immediate Rough N Rowdy challenges to every crusty old man in Big Hollywood tomorrow, and they will remember the date January 6th!!
And I know you could say, "Why does it matter to you if a bunch of snobs acknowledge how good a performance is?" - but that's a boring way of looking at it. I think it's fun to pick contenders to root for at award shows. 'The Penguin' was my favorite season of television I've watched front-to-back in years, and I want them to get that much deserved recognition for it.
So if you're with me, stand on guard for tonight. We may need to go to war….social media outrage war. And if you're not with me - you're against me.