Zac Taylor's Clock Management Malpractice Should Be Studied By All Aspiring Head Coaches Who No Longer Wish To Be Employed

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While the idea may seem cruel, a fired head coach is one of the best gigs in the whole world. Now former Kings coach Mike Brown is experiencing this feeling for the fourth time in his pro career, this most recent departure following an extension in the summer. The man is living the dream, getting paid handsomely to do absolutely nothing. Even Mintzy is required to do more than Mike Brown presently. 

I bring this up because if you're a head football coach out there who just received a sizable payday and no longer wish to do your job while still collecting said money, please follow the lead of one Zac Taylor. You will soon be handed zero responsibility while still getting a paycheck. 

Yesterday the Bengals played a must-win game against the Denver Broncos. A loss would eliminate them from playoff contention, while a win would keep their hopes alive going into Week 18. Now let's bring in some added context as to why you should listen to Taylor's ways. This may get confusing, but just know I'm right. 

The Bengals saw themselves tied with the Broncos at 17 all with under two minutes to go in the game. Joe Burrow found Ja'Marr Chase for a clutch 3rd down conversion that setup Cincy with 1st and goal on the 6 yard line with 1:39 to go. Denver called their second timeout to stop the clock, although if you ran the numbers there wasn't really much they could do if the Bengals handled the next few plays properly. 

Now children gather around, let's do a quick math lesson for everybody. One minute and 39 seconds equals a total of 99 seconds. The play clock is 40 seconds long. If you line up to take a delayed knee that wastes about three seconds to run. 

1st and goal at the 6: Kneel down. 3 seconds elapses. Denver's final timeout. 1:36 left. 

2nd and goal at the 8: Kneel down. 3 seconds elapses. Full play clock runs. 53 seconds left. 

3rd and goal at the 10: Kneel down. 3 seconds elapses. Full play clock runs. 10 seconds left. 

4th and goal at the 12: kick the field goal with 7 seconds left. 

Two 40 second play clocks= 80 seconds

Three delayed kneel downs= 9 seconds. 

Field goal attempt= 3 seconds. 

80+9+3=92

What does that all mean? If you knee it out three times as the play clock expires you're finished kicking the game winning field goal with around seven seconds left on the clock. Wanna add a few more ticks for plays that didn't get snapped exactly with 0 left then sure let's make it 10 seconds. With no timeouts, if you fuck that situation up then didn't deserve to win anyways. 

Again, absolutely no need to run any sort of actual play here given the situation. So what did Taylor do? He ran it with Chase Brown. 

Yes Brown was instructed to not score on this play, but do you know what happened while he slid before the end zone? He hurt himself. That forced the Bengals to burn a timeout with under two minutes to go and stop the clock to escort him off the field. Why run it at all? Not only did you cause your running back to get hurt, but now you left yourself in a situation where the Broncos were going to get the ball back with time to spare. Now unable to run the clock down to its very end, Burrow proceeded to sneak in a touchdown on the next play, leaving Denver with 1:29 and a timeout to try and make something happen. 

Bo Nix made something happen. 

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"But Hubbs, Cade York sucks and he missed a 33 yard chip shot in OT. Why are you begging for them to kick?" 

First of all that's bullshit hindsight 20/20. Going into that attempt, York was 4/4 from inside 40 this season and 15/16 with XPs. At the time there's zero hesitation sending him out there for a short attempt like that. Keep in mind, they were clearly playing for the field goal by having Brown fall down at the one. Why they ran it all instead of kneeing it out escapes me. It's clock management malpractice from a veteran head coach. With your season on the line, it's fireable, especially when you consider all that's happened with the Bengals this year. 

Sure, the Bengals did go onto win the game in overtime and keep their hopes alive, but that was entirely unnecessary. It's one of the least deserving wins I've seen an NFL head coach receive in a while. Now Chase Brown has a high ankle sprain as your reward for stupidity. Congrats!

I'm aware the MVP will go to either Josh Allen or Lamar Jackson, but Joe Burrow pushing this team to 8-8 despite the historically bad defense and these kind of coaching moves by Taylor is nothing short of remarkable. I use to think the success Rodgers had with McCarthy was as impressive as it gets considering the faults of the head coach, but Burrow getting to a Super Bowl with this moron might take the cake. No way you can bring Taylor back next year if you're serious about maximizing Burrow's talent. Unfortunately the Bengals ownership is as cheap as it gets and would puke at the idea of paying two coaches at once. Sorry Joe. 

And yes, I had Broncos +3.5 so this is me just venting really, but holy fuck does Zac Taylor suck at his job.