MUST WATCH: Young Bears Fan Has Meltdown Watching The Bears Lose In Heartbreaking Fashion To Green Bay Today
Welcome to the show kiddo.
When I run for Mayor of Chicago, I'm running on this platform:
1- Fire the teachers' union into the sun.
2- tell Abu Dabai to go fuck themselves and rip out every single parking meter in the city. We don't see a dime of the money anyway; stop robbing our citizens to pay a company in the Middle East.
3- force the private equity company that bought Portillo's to change every menu back to Dick's original recipes.
4- Charge parents that raise their children as Bears fans with child abuse.
Seriously, Packers fans will laugh at this because they're assholes. (Sidebar - The craziest thing happened when I went to watch the Patriots play at Lambeau a few years ago, and I was mind-blown at how nice people are in Green Bay. It felt like I was in the South. Everybody was so polite and friendly. They offered us beers and brats and everything under the sun, including every tailgate and front yard we walked by. Welcoming us to Green Bay. I mentioned to a few of them I was stunned how nice they all were because all the Packers fans I know in Chicago are huge assholes to Bears fans. They told me they're only mean and nasty to Bears fans and that they love everybody else. True hate.)
But fans of every other team should feel just as bad for this kid (and all Bears fans) as I do.
Nobody deserves this kind of misery. Especially to the extent of the for life sentence Bears fans are forced to endure, right out of the womb.
And everybody can relate to this for the most part. Pretty much everybody has at least one team that tortures them mercilessly.
Growing up in New England, I sadly cannot relate to this, but we are very sympathetic to those who do. People forget how fucking abysmal the Red Sox and Patriots were before Portnoy signed his soul over to the devil and got us to the mountaintop. Over. And over. And over. And over. And over. And over. And over. And over. And over. And over. And over. And over. And over. And over. And over.
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p.s. - somebody tweeted this at me last week (I couldn't find it) but it was so true. The size of the hex the Chicago Bears franchise now has on them because they knocked down Arlington Race Track and then decided not to build a stadium there and not its just a vacant 26 acre space is so gigantic that it will make "The Curse of The Bambino" look like Sesame Street. So true. One of the most beautiful horse tracks in the entire country- poof, gone. Because moronic owners of the most pathetically run franchise in football bought it, then knocked it down without the ink dry, and wire transfer cleared on a deal with Arlington Heights. Might as well just build the new stadium on an Indian burial ground at this point because they're fucked for the next ten lifetimes.