I Regret to Inform You That Ohio's Tate is The Most Daunted Man in America
The Indiana Hoosiers (football) are 3-0. This is the most hype there's been around Indiana football since the 2020 Covid year, when Michael Penix Jr. and the Hoosiers rightfully won the Big Ten West, and earned a spot the Big Ten Championship before the Big Ten decided to re-write the rulebook entirely so their beloved Ohio State Buckeyes could steal their spot, because the Buckeyes were allegedly, "more deserving", and "beat Indiana head-to-head", and "we're obviously one of the best two teams in all of college football."
But this year's version of the Indiana Hoosiers may be even better. They've got a brand new Head Coach in Curt Cignetti, who they plucked right out of James Madison University along with half of JMU's roster. They've got a brand new 6th-year transfer QB out of Ohio in former MAC Offensive Player of The Year, Kurtis Rourke, who in three games has thrown for 755 yards, 7 TD's, and 0 INT's. The Hoosiers have won their first three games by a combined score of 150-23, including a Week 3, 42-13 shellacking of UCLA at the Rose Bowl. You couldn't have drawn up a better start to the season for Indiana.
Just yesterday, the College Football Power Index (FPI), created by noted football geniuses at ESPN, has Indiana at #19. They project them to finish with a 9-3 record. But most importantly, they've given Indiana a 23.4% chance to make the college football playoff. That's a better percentage chance than the likes of LSU, Clemson, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, Michigan, Texas A&M, the list goes on. That's cold hard data. You can't argue with math. Facts don't care about your feelings, etc.
Naturally, Indiana fans are thrilled. They're thinking about playoffs. They're not daunted in the slightest.
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It's not often the Hoosiers have a nationally relevant football program. Of course their fans are going to be excited about 3-0. Of course they're going to talk their shit on the rare occasion they have a chance too. You'd think a majority of people would be happy for Indiana. It's always fun to see a new team enter the mix. But at the same time, you would think fans of teams such as Texas, Alabama, Georgia, Ohio State, etc., wouldn't be overly concerned about the Hoosiers. You think they'd pay them no mind at all. Sure they're off to a great start, but the Ohio State's of the world are at the very very top of college football. They'll burn that bridge when 10windiana rolls into Columbus later this season. However, there is one particular Ohio State superfan right here at Barstool Sports, who I regret to inform you might be the most daunted man on the entire internet.
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As you can plainly see, this isn't my fight. That belongs to White Boy Rick and Liam Blutman. But as a casual Indiana fan who has access to the blog, it's my responsibility to report the facts. It brings me no pleasure to do it, but the fact of the matter is that Ohio's Tate is concerningly daunted about Indiana. Tweeting out Ohio State-Indiana football stats… writing a blog about Indiana… and getting into a daunted-off with a random Indiana fan in the DM's 10 minutes after declaring you will not be engaging with Indiana fans… all over 2 months prior to the Ohio State-Indiana game is quite possibly the most daunted a person has ever been since Indiana invented the word daunted. Not to mention this mysterious list Rick happened upon in the Barstool Chicago office yesterday.
It's surprising, really. I can see Ohio State fans looking past their upcoming games against Marshall and Michigan State. But they've still got Oregon, Nebraska, and Penn State all on the schedule before the Hoosiers come to town. But from the looks of it, the Indiana Football Hoosiers are #1 on Ohio's Tate's radar.
And if it wasn't apparent how daunted Tate truly is. When he made his list of punishments for what he'll have to do if Ohio State loses a football game this year, instead of assigning himself a punishment for losing to Indiana, he scheduled himself a nice little relaxing weekend watching one of the greatest sports movies ever made.
Never in a million years would I have thought Ohio State fans would be so shook by an Indiana win over UCLA that they would start looking 9 games ahead in their schedule. And how dare you accuse Liam Blutman of not talking about Indiana until after the UCLA win. Blutman might be the least daunted man at this company. Nobody was seeing Indiana for what they were sooner than Blutman - a college football team with a 23.4% chance to make the playoffs.
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Play the song.