Are There Too Many Cups in English Football?

Ah, English football – the beautiful game. But if I'm being honest, it’s starting to resemble more of a ceramics convention than a sport these days. Cups. There are just so many cups. It's like every time you turn around, someone is hoisting a piece of silverware above their head. At this rate, the trophy cabinets at Premier League clubs are looking more like the tub-aware drawer in my apartment. 

I'm not even joking there is an epidemic of cup competitions in English football. Let’s count them, shall we? First, you’ve got the big ones – The FA Cup** and the League Cup (or Carabao Cup, depending on which energy drink is sponsoring it this year). The FA Cup, well, that’s a tradition, fair enough. We respect it. But the League Cup? This one feels like it’s just there so the Premier League clubs can flex their squad depth. “Oh, look at us, we can win a trophy with our third-string goalkeeper and U-21 prospects!” Come on now.

Then we’ve got the Community Shield, which is really just a glorified preseason friendly. It's like the appetizer at a fancy restaurant. Sure, it’s nice, but let’s be real, you’re not here for the bruschetta – you want the main course. Yet, players lift it like they've conquered Europe. The fans? They try to convince themselves it matters, but deep down, they know it's just a practice round.

Speaking of Europe, the big clubs are getting greedy with their trophies over there too. The Champions League (which starts today btw) is the big one, the Holy Grail. But now there’s also the Europa League, which is like the consolation prize. It’s where you end up when you’ve had a bit too much fun in the group stages of the Champions League or, even worse, finished seventh in the Premier League. And now – wait for it – there’s a third one: the Europa Conference League. The football equivalent of a "Thanks for Participating" trophy. I couldn't even name one team in that thing. 

With all these cups, the fixtures pile up like dirty dishes after a dinner party. Clubs are playing matches on a Tuesday night, a Thursday, and then wondering why their players are pulling hamstrings on a Saturday. The managers are exhausted, the players look like they’re on the verge of collapse, and the fans? Well, we're still trying to figure out which cup we should care about. Are we supposed to be celebrating our team’s win in the Carabao Cup, or should we save the champagne for a potential Champions League run?

Look, I’m all for winning trophies. But how many cups do we really need? At this point, even winning one of the smaller cups feels like getting a participation trophy at a school sports day. "Congrats, you tried your best, here’s a shiny object!" Maybe it’s time for English football to streamline a bit. Keep the trophies that spark joy, and move on from the ones that don't.