Apparently The Big 10 Coaches Have A Group Chat And We Need The Freedom Of Information Act To Release The Messages

NO CHANCE this group chat is actually used, right? Like 0.0000% chance. In all honesty, I don't even believe that all the Big Ten football coaches even have each other's numbers. My guess is that Bret Bielema asked each person individually and since he's at who-care-Illinois, they obliged. And then he started a chat to say dumb shit like "Reminder: Big Ten Media Days coming up" and gets a few likes from the bottom dwellers at Northwestern and Rutgers. But there's a better chance of hell freezing over than Ryan Day and Sherrone Moore texting in the same group chat.

.....but what if they were?

Ryan Day, Sherrone Moore, Lincoln Riley, Matt Rhule, James Franklin, Dan Lanning, Luke Fickell, Greg Schiano, PJ Fleck, and then the rest of the scrubs all in the same chat would be the most electric thing of all time. But it brings up so many questions? Who has the Android? I would say Kirk Ferentz but he probably doesn't even have a cell phone yet. And what gets discussed? 

Look, when you put that many old people into a chat, you know there's food pictures and pictures of nieces and nephews being sent. PJ Fleck is undoubtedly sending daily motivational quotes. But what if there was some trash talk too? Obviously I've never said one nice thing about Jim Harbaugh in my entire life, but if he sent a picture of his dick in the group chat after beating Ohio State the year Ryan Day said he was going to hang 100 on him, I'd probably have to flip sides of the war. 

This group chat is reason #100,000 why I was fine as a high school coach but I simply couldn't function as a big time college coach. You gotta stay professional. I'd talk so much shit, especially if I were at a program where I knew I wasn't going to lose. Ryan Day should be sending daily pictures of bags of cash to these poor coaches. And I'd expect them to respond with pictures of Connor Stalions. Ugh, I'm sure this chat gets 1 text a year from Bielema, but it would be the most electric thing of all time if it was constantly bumping like a group of college friends' Fantasy Football League Chat. Wait….I need to look into seeing if the Freedom of Information Act can get me access to this thread. They're all public employees, no?