Poor Fella Splits Penis In Motorcycle Accident, Infection Post-Surgery Leads To Amputation - Says The Incident Improved His Sex Life
Ready to hear about a fella's life who will instantly make you feel better about yours? Well, I've got the perfect sucker just for you, Eagles' fans listen closely.
An anonymous man split his penis in half during a motorcycle accident back in 2020. Not great, but hey modern medicine is a beautiful thing, right? Doctors quickly reconstructed his penis and made it brand new. Only problem? It got infected immediately and forced them to amputate. No more penis. Bad situation to find yourself in if you ask me.
Impressively, this guy does seem to be looking at the positives in life and moving forward in the best way possible. He even goes as far to say that his sex life with his wife has IMPROVED post-losing dick.
Despite being left with a small 'stub,' he said that he has learned to stop taking himself seriously and that he and his wife's sex life has 'improved a lot' since the accident. '[Our sex life] has improved a lot. We strap on and learn to stimulate in other ways,' he said. 'We're both very happy sexually now.'
So this guy was just terrible in bed. The worst of the worst. Either that or his wife is a liar and doesn't want him to kill himself. You don't lose your penis and get better at sex unless you were a legit blind person in there before. I'm also fairly positive his wife is now cheating on him. Great you guys are getting into the strap on game and being innovative to make the best of it, but she's fucking other guys no doubt about it. And I think she should be. If the marriage is going to stay strong she's gotta be able to get hers, and I'm not talking about a plastic penis being inserted into her.
Also yeah it's great to have support from people like the blurb states below, but they aren't your true friends.
'It's so crucial to surround yourself with people who are genuinely interested in your happiness,' the unnamed man, who wants to remain anonymous, said.
'It was great to have a wife who fully accepted me and never made me feel less than.'
If this happened in my friend group there would be endless ball-busting. If you're not getting made fun of for fucking your wife with a strap on or having a stub for a penis then what's the point? The article does state that after two years he learned to not take life so seriously. Great decision, no other way to go along with life. If that's the case though, his friends should be sniping him with jokes left and right. This is the kind of friend group that gets happy when someone's team wins the Super Bowl. That shit is pathetic. Always root for your pals' sports fandom demise unless it's your own team. That makes your team winning even sweeter, knowing everyone else is sad. It's toxic and cruel, but way more fun and refreshing.
Anyways, credit to this guy for persevering and finding some light in an otherwise life of complete darkness. I'd most likely have ended it all knowing I could never jerk off again. That's probably more of a me problem than anything. On another note I've now unlocked a new fear in life and will never be getting on a bike or motorcycle ever again.