My QB Wish List For The Dolphins If Tua Doesn't Play Again This Year

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I had low expectations for the Dolphins heading into the season, but I didn’t think their season would be over by week two. Without Tua at the helm, this team is as dead as my grandfather. We have no shot at winning the division, and honestly, if he’s out the entire year, we have no chance of making the playoffs. I’ve seen this movie before, and I know exactly how this is going to go. No disrespect to Skylar Thompson, but we can’t win with him at QB. So, if I were GM Chris Grier, these are the QBs I’d target in an attempt to save the season.

1. Jameis Winston 

Nick Cammett. Getty Images.

No logical explanation for this, I just love me some Jameis. If we’re going to lose games, at least give me some Jameis sound bites to get me through the week. Plus, he can sling that thing (pause) and could open up the passing game a little bit.

2. Mac Jones

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Ugh, the more I write this blog, the more my stomach turns. How did I get to this point in my life? Do you have any idea how down bad you have to be to have Mac Jones as the second choice on your wish list?

3. Russel Wilson

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Lord Jesus, please save me from this nightmare. Maybe that’s what this team needs—a little bit of Jesus in their lives. Us Dolphin fans simply aren’t strong enough to lift this curse; we need God.

4. Ryan Tannehill

Everyone knows make up sex with an ex isn't the worst thing in the world. I'd be cool with bringing good ole Tannehill back to Miami. 

5. Tom Brady (would be 1 but I doubt he unretires)

HE SHOULDA BEEN A DOLPHIN FOUR YEARS AGO BUT WHACK ASS BRIAN FLORES LEFT HIM HANGING. AND IT COST US A FIRST ROUND PICK. HEY TOM! YOU SUCK IN THE BOOTH COME WIN SUPER BOWL NUMBER 8!