No One Is Safe: Gangs Of Wild Otters Are Ferociously Attacking Joggers
The Standard - A woman was left bloodied and unable to stand after a vicious otter attack in a Malaysian park. Mariasella Harun, in her 30s, was ambushed by the animals while jogging. Harun, recounted: "Suddenly, I saw something emerging from the drain next to the Kinabalu Golf Club. The creature jumped out and bit me while I was running, and there were many of them. I could not even stand up when it happened." Two other joggers who attempted to help were also caught up in the bloody assault. Otter attacks on humans are quite rare but can happen, especially when otters feel threatened or are protecting their young.
No, not packs of slight of frame, hairy gay dudes. Much much worse. This is what you get when you walk into the wrong park, wearing the wrong colors. If you're scared, go to church. The otter gang problem is nothing new in these streets. We've seen rival otter gangs fighting over territory, but it seems these power hungry creatures have set their sites on new targets - humans. Not sure if this is some sort otter gang initiation, or these blood thirsty monsters are jumping humans for sport. The signs were there. We saw this coming, but we chose to ignore them.
Instead of heeding the warning signs, we built them up, put them on a pedestal, idolized them for their cuteness. Forget the fact that they are willing to jump and curb stomp their enemies, look how adorable it is when they hold hands so they don't float away.
The fact that a pack of otters took down a grown 30 year old woman is scary enough, never mind the fact that the two good samaritans that sprung into action to save her also got taken down by the pack. There was nothing they could do, these otters were like an ocean rip tide, it doesn't matter how strong you are, fighting back is a futile gesture. I'm starting to rethink the hypothetical of would you rather fight one horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horses. Give me one horse sized duck any day. If 10 otters the size of weiner dogs are this much of a problem, how the fuck are you going to take on 100 biting, flapping geese? People were saying we need AR-15's to fend off feral hogs, but packs of otters might be an even better reason. Never again will I go jogging through the park without an AR strapped to my chest, because the second these otters catch you slipping, you're toast.