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Ratings Never Lie: Raygun Is Now Ranked The No. 1 Breakdancer In The World By The Federation That Oversees The 'Sport'

We all remember Raygun. How can't you? She's everywhere. Well, good news, she's now ranked the No. 1 breakdancer in the world. Seriously. This is by the world federation and whatever bullshit this fake sport has:

[Source] - It is important to emphasize that none of the following events contributed to the current WDSF Breaking Ranking List due to limited athlete quotas:

  • The Olympic Qualifier Series (OQS) in Shanghai (16-19 May 2024)
  • The Olympic Qualifier Series (OQS) in Budapest (20-23 June 2024)
  • The Olympic Games in Paris (9-10 August 2024)
  • The recent rankings of B-Girl Raygun and B-Girl Riko have drawn particular attention. Both athletes earned 1,000 points in their respective events:
    • B-Girl Raygun placed first at the Oceania Continental Championships, October 2023 (ranking points will expire on 28 October 2024).

So to be clear. The Olympics don't count, no one really knows why. You just make up scores to get rankings and that's pretty clearly how Raygun becomes the number 1 breakdancer in the world. Now, I gotta give her credit. No one and I mean no one was talking about breakdancing before Raygun thrusted her way around the Olympics to an impressive zero points. At the same time, how can I argue with ratings? Every rating system is correct: 

John Fanta is indeed ticked off. The Giants are indeed ass, but not as much ass as the Panthers. So you see, maybe, analytics never lie? Maybe this is one of those ratings where you factor in she is the only breakdancer that people are talking about. I mean you have it all from this story of a possible scandal: 

To a hero's welcome home! 

I assume this will be the last breakdancing blog we ever have. It's just too outrageous of a story to not close with it as Raygun hits number 1 in the world. The best there was, the best there is, the best there ever will be.