Knee Jerk Reactions to Week 1: Patriots vs. Bengals

Things to consider while I workshop this character I used to do in improv class: "Ridiculously Optimistic Patriots Blogger Guy":

--The biggest underdog in the league this week. Facing a top-tier opponent. On the road. After overhauling an entire offense. With the offensive line in a state of disarray. With a first time head coach. An offensive coordinator who hadn't truly coordinated an offense in 15 years. And a quarterback who was outplayed by a 21-year-old rookie through the latter part of camp. No one, but no one, could've seen this coming. Granted, one did:

But what does that Bozo know? He's just a charming, insightful silver fox and a shameless Patriots fanboy. (Makes note to bring that character back as well. I've missed that guy.)

--It's not a stretch to say this was a throwback win. Like the ones we used to see in the early, early, Pre-Cambrian Period of the Dynasty, minus the Dynasty. Because they beat an opponent in all three phases. Were more physical. Won both sides of the line of scrimmage. Forced turnovers while taking proper care & feeding of the football themselves. Didn't give up big chunk plays. Took away the opponent's best weapon. And were led by a quarterback who made good decisions. And who allowed the offense to be carried on the shoulders of a big, tough, bruising running back who moved the chains, controlled the clock, and finished drives. All of which we've grown unaccustomed to.

--The more I think about it, the more apt the comparison gets. You can draw so many analogs from someone in this game to someone on the roster in one of those 2001-04 games with uncanny accuracy. David Andrews to Damien Woody. Christian Gonzalez to Ty Law. Jacoby Brissett and young, "caretaker QB," Tara Reid Era Tom Brady. Rhamondre Stevenson to Antowain Smith or Corey Dillon. And Alex Van Pelt to Charlie Weis. 

--That last one works especially well for the way he game-managed this one. AVP allowed Brissett to take an occasional deep shot. But for the most part he called an efficient, controlled game that was Margaret Thatcher levels of conservative, but worked. And outgained one of the top offenses in the league the last few years by 66 yards and held the ball for 9:06 more of the game clock. Most importantly, we saw next to none of the chaotic unforced errors, presnap penalties and assorted brain sharts of the final preseason game. The kind that were on full display for the world in that international incident game in Brazil the other night. Whatever they needed to work on over the past two weeks, Van Pelt and Scott Peters did. And got results. 

--Simply put, this was the best the offensive line has looked in recent memory. Perhaps in years. Just one sack. Stevenson with 4.8 YPA. With 11 rushing 1st downs and 17 overall. And one of those things referred to as "a touchdown scoring drive" we've heard tell of, but haven't seen in these parts. All capped off with some drives made all the more impressive for how unspectacular they were. After the Bengals made it a one-score game with a 90-yard TD drive, the Pats responded by going with a two tight ends look. And put together a sustained, relentless, 12-play, 52-yard, 7:24 drive of their own that put 3 points on the board and made it 16-7. Then for their last two possessions, they went with a Tank formation, adding Caeden Wallace to the mix for an 8-man front that Cincinnati had no answer for. When you can tip your pitches to your opponent, tell them exactly what you're going to do (forgive my obscure, OK Boomer reference, but like Billy Jack doing the "I'm gonna take the right side of this foot ..." thing) and then doing that very thing because they can't stop it? That's the sort of thing that will give a team no one's familiar with yet a positive identity in a hurry. 

--Because even when Cincy responded by loading the box, they still couldn't slow Stevenson down:

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--Here was a typical example. Watch the way Wallace and Austin Hooper combo block the end, before Wallace bounces inside on the tackle as Hooper puts his man in a body bag, leaving only Cam Taylor-Britt for Stevenson to beat.

--Here's a much earlier example. This time Wallace is on the left. Hunter Henry motions to an H-back alignment, which is a big part of the Browns curriculum that Van Pelt graduated from. And Antonio Gibson follows him through the hole created by Hooper's kickout block of Sam Hubbard:

--Chuks Okorafor actually got the start at left tackle. But in a signature move of this offense lo these many years, he was quickly swapped out for Vederian Lowe. Who wasted no time letting his presence be known by committing a false start. But to the surprise of all involved, that turned out to be the one glitch for this mission. Michael Jordan got the start between Lowe and Andrews. The Michael Onwenu as right guard experiment officially ended as he was moved back outside, with rookie Layden Robinson taking his former spot. And all those two did was blow a hole in the Bengals front the size of the breach in the wall at Helm's Deep that Stevenson blew through untouched for the Pats' touchdown:

This group was single biggest question of 2024. And while we're only on the first page of a long test, so far they're acing it. 

--Now getting to enjoy relatively clean pockets for the first time, Brissett was able to point guard the ball around evenly. With six receivers getting two or three catches. Though none more than Hooper's 31 yards. And no play longer than this seam curl to Tyquan Thornton:

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--But it worked. So you can understand why it was such an emotional day for Brissett:

Yeah, welcome to the club. Seeing the Patriots pull off a statement win like this like a reunion with an old friend. I'm the dog in one of those heartwarming videos, "His human friend is back from deployment" or something. When that final drive burned all of Cincinnati's time outs and put the game away, it was howling and wagging my tail and rolling on the floor, wanting the Dynasty to come scratch my belly like before. But for now, this'll do. 

--By far the biggest challenge defensively was Ja'Marr Chase. And while they mixed their coverages quite a bit, for the most part that unwelcome task fell to Gonzalez, who acquitted himself brilliantly. Like he's done previously to Tyreek Hill and CeeDee Lamb, Gonzo followed him around the formation while giving him a variety of looks. (The slot on one down. Two consecutive press-man coverages. Then dropping off him into a deep zone.) But ultimately containing All Pro to minimal damage. The Gonzalez-Chase matchup (on a side note, as a kid I watched about 1,000 hours of Looney Tunes whose entire premise was "Gonzalez chase") was a huge win for New England. And if you were around to see what happened to Devin McCourty in his second season, you'll know how huge a deal this is in the grand scheme of things. McCourty had the best rookie season of any Pats cornerback I've ever seen. But in 2011 he faced a murderer's row of big,  physical wideouts like Brandon Marshall, Vincent Jackson and Darrius Heyward-Bey, who posted Madden numbers against him, causing his confidence to get all shook. Eventually resulting in a move back to safety. But confidence does not sound like an issue Gonzalez is struggling with:

Yeah, it's safe to say he won't be logging onto Better Help any time soon. 

--There was one play on the Bengals second possession where Gonzalez drew a flag for a borderline Illegal Contact penalty. Which is fine. In the increasingly subjective officiating of the NFL, we're getting more and more reputation calls. And he's still in the "Welcome to the Majors, Mr. Hobbs" phase of his career. Just wait until he's established himself and starts to get away with acts of mayhem. All the truly great ones enjoy that privilege. And his time is coming soon.

--Chase was more or less neutralized, with six catches for 64 yards, 28 of which came in the deep middle against zone coverage. The secondary employed the usual variety 12-pack of autumn beers we were used to seeing under Steve Belichick. A nickel base with Kyle Dugger as the Robber. Mostly Cover-2, though occasionally showing a single high safety look, but then Jabrill Peppers or someone would drop back into split safety at the snap. As a result, they kept Joe Burrow guessing. And his guesses led to three straight 3 & outs to start the game. And the Bengals didn't produce a 1st down until there was about 5:00 gone in the 2nd quarter. And even that drive was blown up by Dugger playing at his Duggeriest:

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To circle back to the 2001-04 comparisons, this was the kind of thing we'd get from a Lawyer Milloy or a Rodney Harrison. Situational awareness. Playing to the whistle. Knowing what the moment called for and doing that thing. What Belichick used to call "a championship play" from one of the most important guys on this roster. And it ended up being a 10-point play as Brissett kept Cincinnati on the sidelines for the whole rest of the half and put 3 on the board. 

--And yet everything I've said so far has been a gross disservice to the best player on the field yesterday. If this was last year (meaning one of those 10-6 or 6-0 abominations), I'd have spent the first five paragraphs singing songs of Keion White's heroics like a wandering minstrel in the Middle Ages. I have no early Dynasty comparison for his performance. Or this stat line. Or, as you kids say, this rizz:

That's the production you would've gotten if Richard Seymour was cojoined with Willie McGinest. I'll be curious to see the numbers on how much they lined White outside, but my guess is it was minimal. My vision-corrected eyes spotted a lot of Anfernee Jennings, Deatrich Wise, Jr and Josh Uche (in passing downs) on the edge, with White mainly staying between the tackles. But there was this early down where he came from the spot formerly occupied by Matthew Judon to slap Trent Brown's massive hands away and get inside him for the strip:

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And when he was inside, the interior of the Bengals line had no combination that could throw as much as a speed bump in front of him. Take this sack. One in which Jaylinn Hawkins showed a safety blitz look off the edge before dropping into the deep zone at the snap. White was standing, head up on the center (possibly 0-shade, it's hard to tell) and Uche flushed Burrow right into him:

Between White, Gonzalez, Marcus Jones (who got a surprising start at cornerback and played a ton) and Demario Douglas, that's four starters all making coveted - but often elusive - Year 2 Bounce. We might look back at 2023 as one of the great drafts in recent memory.

--I don't want to undersell just how tougher the Patriots were than the Bengals. Stevenson's running. White imposing his physical dominance. Big hits on special teams from Brendan Schooler and Joe Cardona, who came up in punt coverage with a textbook form tackle (I forget who I heard say this, but one coach phrased it "Stick your head in an bite the ball") to force a fumble. And not one of them more impressive than this little 4th & 2 tone-setter from Jonathan Jones.

 --Seriously, if by some miracle this keeps up, I'll be able to tolerate an entire season of "Is it Peyton Manning or Paintin' Manning???"

--This Week's Applicable Movie Quote: "Hey, man! You trying to get yourself capped?" - Jerod Mayo as "Gang Banger" in The Three Stooges 

--Though I could've also gone with "Every time I think I'm out, they pull me back in." But that one's too obvious. True though it is. The Patriots are +3 'dogs at home next week, so no one is buying the idea that this game represents any kind of a resurgence. Not yet, at least. But what we know for sure is that as we woke up today, they're tied for first place in the AFC East. They're better than we thought. At least our worst fears haven't been realized. And if nothing else, if no other thing, this roster plays hard, smart, determined football for their coach. And gets results:

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And for now, that'll do. 

--I have one last question before we're through here. Is saying "MOOD" before you post a meme still a thing? If it is, then consider this MOOD:

It wasn't all that long ago when the postgame quote was "You lucky we ass." 

--Finally, it feels good to be back. I'd almost forgotten how much fun spending four hours reviewing and then writing up a Patriots game can be.  We're onto Seattle.