Predicting The Chargers Record In Their First Year Under The God Jim Harbaugh
I'm so damn horny for NFL I just had to run through the Chargers schedule and try to predict this season. I did this same exercise last year and went 8-9, which seems bad but I don't think is horrible considering how the season panned out with the firings, injuries etc. A lot of Chargers fans are super optimistic for this season and I get it. Harbaugh is a huge get and the dude is a winner. But THIS year is a year of corrections, not a year to expect a playoff run. Here is my prediction, game-by-game.
Sun 9/8 vs LV 4:05
WIN (1-0). This is a tale as old as time. The Chargers are healthy and beat the shit out of the Raiders in their first matchup, then lose later in the year when half the team is on the IR. The Raiders had a shit draft, lost their all-world RB and second best T in Eluemunor (granted, Mack ate that dudes lunch last year). They went from one of the worst QB stiuations in the league to….the worst situation in the league. Instead of a 2 dimensional attack with Adams/Jacobs, the name of the game will be DEAR GOD MISHEW JUST GET ADAMS THE BALL. They spent a ton of money getting Wilkins from the Dolphins and their pass rush will be really good but that’s all they got.
Sun 9/15 @ CAR 1PM
WIN (2-0). The Panthers stink. I know it. You know it. Tepper knows it. They’re arguably the most mismanaged franchise in the NFL since losing the Super Bowl and they didn’t do much to change that this offseason. They lost Burns to the Giants and Luvu to the Commies as well as new Chargers Hayden Hurst and Bradley Bozeman. What did they gain? Dionte Johnson. Maybe Legette ends up a good draft pick but Jonathan Brooks probably won’t be playing this game either. Like the Raiders, this team not having a surefire QB situation also makes me more confident.
Sun 9/22 @ PIT 1PM
WIN(3-0). AGAIN, I think this just comes down to the other team being in a stinky QB situation. I’ll hedge a bit by saying maybe Wilson turns back the clock and can get a sort of DK Metcalf type rapport with Pickens (who is very good). They also beefed up their O line and added Queen to their LB room which was a great get. BUT it just comes down to QB play and Russ looks to be out of juice. Or concussion water, take your pick.
Sun 9/29 vs KC @ 4:25
LOSS (3-1). KC got better in the offseason so it’s very hard to picture a win in either game. They’re a damn near perfect roster top-to-bottom and have the best coach, QB and TE in the league along with one of the best DEs and an amazing O line. They added the fastest man in the NFL and Hollywood Brown (who may or may not play in this game with his injury). I have no hope the bolts pull it off. Prove me wrong, Jim.
BYE
Sun 10/13 @ Denver 4:05
LOSS (3-2). Denver is in a similar situation to the Chargers just at a harsher degree. They cut ties with Wilson, Jeudy and Simmons meaning they’re stuck in a late course-correction from the Hackett era. Is Bo Nix legit? No clue. But I’m not counting on them being a tremendous offense with aging tackles, an injury prone RB and a weak WR room. I will note that their defense still looks solid, though. This is a series the Chargers are destined to split and I’d wager the loss will happen in Denver.
Mon 10/21 @ ARI
LOSS (3-3). I have a hard time getting a read on the Cardinals. Gannon looks like such a dork and I never gave him a chance but, when Murray was back last year, they had some moxie! MHJ has looked like a monster, they improved their secondary and line so I’m interested to see what they can do. If Kyler is Kyler, I could see this being a game that makes Chargers fans want to die as the player the fanbase really wanted puts up 200 receiving yards in their face.
SUN 10/27 vs NO
WIN (4-3). The Saints are in limbo which plays to the Chargers advantage. All they picked up was Willie Gay and a washed Chase Young. Derek Carr has no juice left and I don’t really fear anything about this team except the combo of McKinstry and Lattimore in their secondary. Should I be investing in the Rattler hype?
Sun 11/3 @ CLE
LOSS (4-4). Even if Watson still sucks ass, Cooper is still very good, Chubb will be back and their defense is still amazing. I have faith in the Chargers D running with solid offenses this year but I’m not counting on their offense. Maybe Harbaugh can send some undercover masseuses to Watson’s house like in ‘BLITZ: THE LEAGUE’?
Sun 11/10 vs TEN
LOSS (4-5). I kinda love the Titans this year. Levis has got something to him and now he has a trio of really solid receivers(Ridley/Hopkins/Boyd), a new RB that has a lot to prove(Pollard), and a brand new LT that looks pretty damn good. Their defense also got L’Jarius Sneed ,which is no small thing but I’m not totally sold on that unit on a whole. Still, I think they’re gonna be spunky. Especially with Callahan.
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Sun 11/17 vs CIN
LOSS (4-6). With Burrow back and their team at full health, they’re obviously gonna be very hard to beat. Herbert may have crushed Burrow with a full strength team a couple years ago but that’s just not the situation they’re in right now. Too many missing pieces on both sides of the ball for the Bolts to win this.
Mon 11/25 vs BAL
LOSS (4-7). The Harbowl is going to be really fun but I don’t see how the Chargers win. They may have signed 50 ex-ravens in the offseason, but that doesn’t mean they can compete with that defense or Lamar. The Ravens also beat them last year in SoFi by 10 for whatever that's worth.
Sun 12/1 @ ATL
WIN (5-7). I'll start by noting that I'm high on the Hawks this year. They were very competitive last year with a NPC quarterback and now they have Kirk Cousins throwing to Drake London, Kyle Pitts and Bijan Robinson behind one of the best offensive lines in football. Their defense was also not terrible! I think they were fairly shit on for the Penix pick but that doesn't mean that they are bad. However, just something about the Falcons always seems doomed to fail, even if my brain says they’re gonna be a dark horse this year.
SUN 12/8 @ KC
LOSS (5-8). Like I said before, I don’t see a world where KC is on planet earth this year unless there are some big injures. Although I will note that the football mystic part of my brain hopes that, even though this isn’t a super bowl year, Harbugh gives us something by splitting the series.
SUN 12/15 vs TB
WIN (6-8). They kept a lot of their better starters but I think the Bucs regress this year. Maybe this is the year that Mike Evans, who I’d say is 1A 1B with Keenan Allen as the most underrated WR of the last decade, starts to take a step back. Although, beating up on the Panthers and Saints might help build up their confidence…
SUN 12/22 vs DEN
WIN (7-8). Like I said in their last matchup, I think this is a split series and logic says that the Chargers win would be at home (insert no home fans joke here).
SUN 12/29 @ NE
WIN (8-8). Kind of similar to the Chargers, the Pats are in course-correction mode. Unlike the Chargers, though, they don’t have a proven commander-and-chief at the helm nor a top QB. There are a ton more variables to this Pats team and all of them point to a stinky season. Maybe they should should blow up the lighthouse.
SUN 1/5 @ LV
LOSS (8-9). Again, this just feels like a split series again. I’ll let the Raiders fans celebrate their super bowl like last year, when they acted like scoring 60 points on the Chargers C team with a coach and GM halfway out the door was an actual accomplishment.
In the end, I think 8-9 feels right. The difference between that and 9-8 feels huge, but I don't think the latter will be a wildcard spot this year. The AFC North and East should have five 10+ win teams between them and I don't see this roster competing with any of them in a playoff game. Next year, expectations will go up. This year, I'm content with watching Herbert play with a competent team surrounding him for the first time.