Capri Sun's Disgusting Rebrand Of Moving Away From Pouches Just Cost Them A Customer For Life

This can't be real. Please, someone tell me this is fake. I need this to be a big publicity stunt where Capri Sun is simply letting us know our favorite pouched drink is still around, serving just not quite enough liquid to quench your thirst. If the Capri Sun company is doing this to make bigger drinks, simply make a bigger pouch. The juice won't taste the same in the bottle. 

This has to be the dumbest move Capri Sun could ever pull.  

EuroNews - Capri Sun adopts ‘stronger’ paper straws in pursuit of recyclability -“We’ve taken on board feedback from parents and have created a new paper straw, which is stronger than ever and will make it even easier for kids to enjoy our delicious Capri Sun range.”

PAPER STRAWS!?!? Piercing the pouch was hard enough with a plastic straw, how are you ever going to successfully pierce the pouch with paper? What happened to the game I love? 

It seems like Big Environmental has Capri Sun bent over a barrel after the UK banned all plastic straws and everyone hated the flimsy paper substitute, SO maybe switching to a bottle is now their only option with the clean energy police breathing down their necks. Sad. 

Not only delicious juice, but the pouch supplied a great memories at the lunch table of racing to blow the pouch up with air and squeezing it back out. They even had some of the best commercials back in the day. Seeing these kids melt into a metalic ooze under the summer sun always made me want to drink a Capri Sun. RIP to a legendary drink, end of an era.