Chicago Bar Brews Up Cicada Infused Malört Liquor And Immediately Gets Fined For The Monstrosity They Created

ABC7 - A suburban brewery has been fined for selling cicada-infused shots of Malort. Illinois law mandates that infusions be mixed and stored on the licensed premises. The manager ... told ABC7 they were fined even after they stopped serving the drink.

Classic big government. Shitting on the little guy for trying to making a buck. 

Look, you've got to be a total sicko to order a straight shot of Malört, so if you're walking into a bar and asking for a dirty ass bug to be thrown in with your liquor - you don't give a flying fuck about whether or not the bar has an infusion license. 

With apocalyptic level waves of Cicadas rising up from the ground this summer, you've got to capitalize on the hype for nature's ratchet noise maker being all the rage at the moment. A single shot of Malört is disgusting, but after 3 shots, Malört starts tasting pretty good. I can't tell if it's an acquired taste, or I'm just drunk. If you're ever in Chicago, it's an experience you have to try for yourself. 

But of course big brother has to kick in the door and shut down the party. I know you're thinking that drinking bugs doesn't sound like a party, but as we learned on Lowering The Bar, it's fun to be scared with your friends. A little harmless fun and a bit of protein makes you a stronger person at the end of the day. 

One of the first episodes ever of LTB was the office trying Malört. It's a nice trip down memory lane to see what the office looked like back in 2019. You've got $20 Chef before the "Earn It" rant, Ellie before she went political, and everyone's favorite - Drunk Vibbsy. What a time. 

Maybe Cicada infused Malört is an excuse to bring back LTB for the people? Or, at the very least get a buzz going on a Tuesday afternoon in the office.