Alex Bennett Didn't Hire Internet Trolls And KFC May Be The Dumbest Human Who Ever Lived For Thinking She Did

So by now you've probably seen Barstool NYC employees beat the horse to death of Alex Bennett allegedly hiring a troll farm to come at the only person stupid enough to think he's important enough to have trolls for any other reason than what he puts out as "content". I haven't commented on it despite my name getting brought up various times and being called names like "Walter Cronkite of Defending Barstool Sports from Troll Allegations" and "The Only Smart Enough Person In NYC To Understand How The Internet Works", namely because it's certainly fake and what is clearly a lie to promote business turned into three weeks long of garbage, eye-sore content. And if you haven't seen it, you're lying, because look how many times we've posted about it promoting this dork's business:

There are probably 20 more clips and dozens more tweets that I could show of us giving what is easily the stupidest allegation of all time attention. The only reason I am even writing this blog is because KFC, a savant at lying, has spent 20 years at Barstool and still believes it is Reddit users who are his biggest enemy. That same KFC who thought he had proof that Reddit was pulling the IP addresses of employees who were secretly members of the Phoenix office and talking shit about their very own co-workers. He tweeted this:

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Normally I wouldn't say anything, and not that anyone with an ounce of a brain cell would believe a KFC tweet anyway, but how come this dweeb has a hard time using alleged and says everything as fact without an ounce of evidence? So I sent him a Twitter message clarifying, mainly because I don't have his number and don't want it, explaining what is the truth about this troll farm that Barstool can't shut up about:

I again, was going to leave it at that, until KFC sent me back a harshly worded message saying he was simply trying to clarify what was in the video, by tweeting out to his incredibly inactive 542,000 followers that I lied about the KFC Radio allegation in the first place:

Here's that part of the conversation with the "Troll CEO", not that I'd make up a lie about the guy who would be so stupid to believe it in the first place:

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You mean to tell me that the guy who is cosplaying as a Jersey Jerry army would make up a lie while on an interview with the hard-hitting Billy Football? I like Billy and get along with him, but he's legitimately the only person not named KFC who would have him on his show because no one else believes a Reddit post that was started by the very-own company who wanted promotion. I won't link to it, but somewhere in there the guy says the views that they've gotten since Barstool has talked about them has been exponential. Almost like his plan as someone well-versed in the Barstool world to get our 40 year old gossiper to non-stop talk about it worked! Nasty work indeed.

If you want a little backstory, the only reason that this became a thing was because of that tweet above. Originally, people saw the Reddit post, that again, the CEO OF THE BUSINESS POSTED, accusing Alex Bennett of not paying and no one said a thing. I'm pretty sure all the Stool Scenes footage that we used was from two weeks ago when the post was made, and never put out until KFC made it a big deal. Originally, people around the office were more curious if the troll army had anything to do with Keegs, because the troll account only followed 10 people on Instagram, 2 of which were Keegs and Whine With Kelly. The only other Barstool follow was Ria, which makes zero sense, not that any of this does anyway. Those rumors were quickly dispelled after they said they followed her to reach out (they did not) and it was clear that this guy is just a lover of wine and Keegs. He also made up obviously real allegations that A-list celebrities were using him, as well as basically every influencer under the sun that would never.

It's not lost on me this is giving even more attention to the troll business that never was, and is playing exactly into the hand of this guy. Is there a troll business that exists? Yes. Did Alex Bennett or Jordyn pay for it to help support Mean Girl view numbers? If Gaz pumping Mean Girl clips on our main Barstool account day in and day out because he thought they were the next Call Her Daddy is a troll business, then they're guilty as charged. 

TL;DR because this blog is getting long — Alex Bennett didn't hire anyone, KFC is 40-something obsessed with gossip like he's still in high school, and I didn't lie about anything because no one cares and it's the fakest and dumbest story of all-time. 

P.S. Obligatory embed and this song still slaps almost a decade later: