It Was An Honor And Privilege To Piss In The Trough Urinals At The Oakland Coliseum

Jed Jacobsohn. Getty Images.

Late last week, around loss 16-17 in a row for the White Sox, Eddie and I looked at each other and said, "fuck it, let's go to Oakland for a game next week to watch the two biggest dumpster fires in baseball play in the grungiest dumpster in baseball." 

Fast forward to Monday morning and we're on the 5 hour flight westward to watch the White Sox lose their 21st game in a row. That's not really what this blog is about - the White Sox are a pathetic embarrassment to their fans, the City of Chicago and, last - but certainly not least - themselves. 

This blog is about the the filthiest, ugliest, dirtiest stadium in all of North America - the Oakland Coliseum: \

Earlier this summer, I traveled to Europe. While there, I toured Fort Schoenenbourg, which is a concrete and steel reinforced fortress built 100 meters underground along the Maginot Line to keep Germans off French soil. 

That's what the Coliseum reminded me of. 

Here are the bathrooms and the concourse at O-Co: 

Here is a long ass tunnel in Fort Schoenenbourg: 

louismc. Getty Images.

I think and hope you get the gist. Similar vibes. 

But it was incredible. That place is a disgusting fucking dump and I loved it. There's a good reason the locals call it "baseball's last dive bar" because that's the exact vibe it gives off. Just a fantastic place in all the worst ways possible.

You can literally bring coolers into the park and they don't give a shit. It's absurd and I fucking LOVED it. 

That's why I really fucking feel for Oakland fans. When the A's bolt for Sacramento and then Vegas, that will be 3 pro sports teams in like…5-6 years or w/e it is that they've lost. Don't forget, the Warriors moved across the Bay to San Francisco, too. 

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The fans I met were all the absolute definition of "die hard" and reminded me a lot of White Sox fans. They love their shithole park and the team is a part of their soul. A lot of people give me shit about gatekeeping fandom and all that shit, but I feel like most A's fans would get where I'm coming from. You sink or swim with your team and NOBODY else. Not ever, and if you do, you aren't a true fan. 

A's fans are the realest of real though. I met a dude in the 9th inning of Monday night's game who was distraught to the point where he was choking up about only having 25 or whatever home games left to visit.

He's missed 2 home games in the last twenty years. 

I asked him who he's gonna root for now and he said their local indy team the Oakland Ballers and the Stockton Ports. I've struggled getting this guy out of my head the last few days because I feel so bad for him. The A's are all he gives a shit about and it's being ripped away from him by some greedy cunt of an owner. I guess that means I don't have a piece of charcoal for a heart? Idk. It's bad out there. 

Not to mention the 600 or so park employees that are all losing their jobs. 

That's why I actually felt a little guilty bitching about Reinsdorf while out there. Their guy is 1000x worse. Reinsdorf is god-awful, but he's not John Fischer. Fischer seemingly wears being a piece of shit on his sleeve. Reinsdorf just lies to our face. 

Case in point: 

As for emotional shit, that's all I got. At least sad, heartfelt emotional. Now I'll get back to being "pissed off" emotional because I'm about to talk about the White Sox. They're a bunch of gigantic fucking losers. Here are my thoughts live as they recorded the last out of their 21st straight loss: 

I don't talk about them often anymore because I'm sincerely embarrassed to do so. It's humiliating being a fan of theirs and walking around with the scarlet letter that is being a fan of that organization.  Congrats on that dub last night though - you guys played a fantastic game.

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Don't stop now boys! 

Losers