Uh-Oh: Angry Twitter Has United In Their HATRED Of My Shoulder Lane Heroism
I made this video... two years ago. It's one of those viral monsters that simply won't die. Not that I want it to—I threw it back up on my Instagram in March and it once again exploded. If you're keen on sifting through a tennis match of the internet's most deluded, angry, opinionated people, this puppy has 7,387 comments and counting. Half say I'm a hero, the other half want me dead. And they will argue with each other off of one comment for HUNDREDS of comments, ultimately leading to threats to each other. Total strangers, working each other up towards violence, in the comment replies to a video made as a joke by an internet idiot who calls himself a hero. In golf attire. In a Tesla.
I'm the reason "people are being put in internment camps."
For whatever reason, it went to the front page of Reddit yesterday. Where of course, it found a third, fourth, and fifth wind. And then it was ripped to Twitter. By two prominent voices from the gun community, Mr. Lead_Flinger and Ms. Kerry Slone.
I want no smoke with the gun folks. You guys know me: I don't mind guns. I'll shoot 'em if I got 'em.
I went bird hunting this fall and pheasant is absolutely delicious, especially when the crunch of buckshot adds a nice texture to the meat.
Which is why I was especially perplexed to find myself in the crosshairs of Lead Flinger and Kerry Slone. Come on, guys! I'm on your team! If I'd had a gun on me, I wouldn't have blocked the shoulder! I would have simply shot the tires out of each car trying to cut. You really only need to blast the first car anyway, which creates a nice road block, and then everyone will file right back in like good little sheep.
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Sadly, I live in New York, where the gun laws are wrapped in so much red tape that you can't even walk around with a goddamn water pistol without some Karen calling the entire NYPD down on you. So I was left to use the only weapon I had: my car. Cars can be incredibly effective weapons. Especially when you have solid insurance.
I do love this exchange though:
One of the most wholesome, tender moments I've seen on the internet in months. You've got two hot-blooded internet soldiers bonding over their shared hatred of me, a "White-Guys-For-Kamala hall monitor," when they're stopped in their tracks to remember that ASSIGNING PROPER VIDEO CREDIT matters.
It warms this creator's heart. Even though neither of them credited me, the original owner. What the absolute fuck. Can't have that, this America for fuck's sake:
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We'll see how this develops. For now, I will remain in retirement regarding my shoulder vigilantism. Because ultimately, these people are right: it's only a matter of time before you get shot. And until I buy a Cybertruck, I don't believe my Tesla's windows are bulletproof.
PS- there is something utterly delicious about creating a video years ago that continues to freshly enrage people. It's like the pot-stirring equivalent of syndication. This video took one minute to make and it has provided years of anger currency. Delicious.