I Was A Hard "Out" On This "That's Brat" Bullshit. But After Watching Jessica Alba Dance To It, I'm A Hard In

Dante7/25/2024 9:30 PM

SI Swim - Jessica Alba is letting her inner Gen Z content creator shine and taking on the internet’s hottest new trend. The actress, who starred in last month’s action/thriller film Trigger Warning, danced to Charli XCX’s “Apple” from her new, viral album, Brat. The trend involves just a few specific moves choreographed with the song’s third verse and is all over TikTok.
The 43-year-old shared the simple sequence with her 8.6 million TikTok followers on July 24.
“Heard it’s a #brat summer 💚,” the California native wrote in the caption.

Arite so here's the deal in case you haven't heard. We DO NOT do politics at Barstool SPORTS. Not sure if you realized it or not, bobbing and weaving through the gauntlet of Taylor Swift bowel movement update blogs, but this is a sports blog God damn it. And smut! Sports and smut are the foundation that Dave's Nantucket house are built on and I'll be damned if we don't stick to our guns whenever one of the hottest women to ever walk the face of the Earth posts a video of herself doing a sexy little dance in a barely there two-piece bikini.

Giphy Images.

Have Mercy indeed Uncle Jesse.

At first, I saw all the neon green being painted across social media over the weekend (it's technically chartreuse) and read that it was part. of this Charli XCX trend/movement and wanted to puke. Here we go again with big label marketing sucking in our youth without anybody realizing it.

But seeing Jessica shimmy those hips?

Giphy Images.

If we're being completely honest here in the circle of trust, anytime I'm reminded. of this little number I get warm and fuzzy all over.

Now for those of you lunatics out there who want to equate this to endorsing a political candidate and make this all about politics, find a new fucking slant ok?

This is a tiktok movement the ladies are partaking in for the summer. Get informed.

KTLA -
But it’s brought the internet — particularly Millennials and Gen Zs — a much-needed sense of frivolous fun and glamour.
The concept began with the June 7 release of “brat,” the bold and brash club-pop/hyperpop sixth album by British musician Charli XCX. Though she’s been very successful — and influential — in the decade since her debut, “brat” marks a significant mainstream success for the 31 year-old best known for hits like “Boom Clap” and “Boys.”
The tracklist of “brat” features a variety of dance-pop and electronic songs, often reminiscent of techno music from the 1990s and early 2000s. The album’s iconic but polarizing neon green cover also helped propel “brat” into meme-status, with several online generators created that mimic the album’s somewhat visually offensive shade of green and black Arial font (see the featured image on this very story for a visual example).
The concept of “brat summer” is much the same, though with a slightly very-Millennial bent. As with anything relating to Millennials’ lives, there’s also a darker meaning behind the partying, too. Essentially, “brat summer” encourages enjoying life as much as you can in spite of the struggles you’re facing.
Millennials, the beleaguered generation that Charli herself belongs to, have faced seemingly endless setbacks in their quest for adulthood, and all the trappings that they were brought up to signify being an “adult.” As many Millennials give up hope of ever owning a home or raising a family without going into further debt, a prevailing attitude among many is to just enjoy trips, friends and experiences while we still can.

First off, let's just get it out of the way that Charli XCX makes fucking bangers. And if you disagree, I dare you to tell your daughters or girls you beat off to in your mom's basement otherwise.

Secondly, she's British. So if an installed American presidential candidate hijacked this song and trend for herself, you can't blame Charli. She's just trying to market her new album.

Which is selling for $40 USD on her website (lol)

Thirdly, and I digress, why is it every article I read that mentions "millennials" is there also mention of the hardships and obstacles they face? In this case the KTLA article called them "beleaguered millennials"? What the fuck are we doing here guys? This isn't exactly our great grandparents generation who survived The Great Depression and World War 1, or the Greatest Generation who beat the nazis and saved the world. They're "beleaguered" because they live at home? Didn't we tell them to stop eating so much avocado toast or some shit?

Anyway, if the girls wanna be brats and do these dances for social media, I say follow Jessica's lead and do it in bikinis. That way we all win.

p.s. - never forget -

p.p.s. - since it's relevent for the blog -

p.p.p.s. - you're welcome