Josh Allen Just Hard Launched His Relationship With Hailee Steinfeld, And It's Time To Bet The Bills
Yesterday, Josh Allen posted a photo carousel on Instagram that featured:
1) Josh and Hailee Steinfeld admiring the Eiffel Tower's light show
2) Josh and the boys playing golf barefoot at what looks like Bakers Bay
3) Josh and his family (I think) in a classic family photo with Hailee
4) Hailee artfully walking down an ornate hallway in some indoor marketplace, presumably in Paris again
5) Josh in Ralph Barbosa's green room at Zanies Nashville
6) Josh playing golf with Tiger Woods
7) More golf
8) Nighttime range sesh with the boys
9) Ripped pants
10) Loading the boat with golf clubs to head back to the mainland for a flight
Many are excited by the cheeky, semi-discrete photos of Hailee Steinfeld. The two have been dating for over a year, but Josh seems to keep his dating life relatively private. Unlike other NFL superstars who leverage their famous girlfriends for jersey sales, Josh Allen lets his game do the talking. Thus, in the interest of respecting his grey-area privacy, I will not comment on the photos of Hailee Steinfeld even though they feel incredibly romantic and tasteful and these two make incredible sense as a couple and if the world could only clone the embryos of one pair of humans, I believe they would be the right choice for endless reasons.
Instead, I want to offer some commentary on the life that Josh Allen lives. I truly believe that in an alternate universe, where my parents had forced me to play football and only football, utilizing my 6'3'' frame and prodigious athleticism for a sport with a legitimate use beyond helping me gain admission to the world's most prestigious university; in this alternate universe where I achieve my potential as an NFL quarterback, this Josh Allen offseason playbook is EXACTLY how I would live my life.
From cozying up with rising star comedians to private air travel to Discovery properties; from dancing so hard you split your pants around your thunderous quads to receiving swing tips from the most mythical figure golf has ever produced. Impromptu trips to Paris in what appears to be the early spring given their outerwear—the second best time to visit Paris after October, and a cultured choice as Josh knows better than to visit during the summer months, when true Parisiens shutter their shops and vacate the city, leaving it to the hordes of fat tourists in fannypacks and socked sandals who marvel at a city child-proofed for their sloppy activities.
Josh Allen, you are a man of high refinement. And fun. Thank you for this small window into your life. I typically can't stand the "photo dumps" that people toss on Instagram with zero binding theme. They're just a highlight reel of disconnected brags with at least one artful photo of a shirt drying on a clothesline to signify an inner creativity waiting to blossom. If only she had the time.
But Josh's carousel gives me hope. And because of that, I fully endorse his relationship with Hailee Steinfeld. Who was excellent in True Grit.