Pay Attention!... We're Making History Over Here!

This is a history blog... If that's not your thing, here are some tits. Now keep it moving...

For the rest of us who breathe with our mouths closed, history (by definition) is being made every single day… And by "history" I don't mean fleeting fuck-ups like this year's Olympic Opening Ceremonies because, even though it set a new bar for terrible entertainment, that abomination will be forgotten about by the time the games end. And the existence of that debacle will ultimately amount to nothing more than a couple of silly references every 4 years.

Michael Steele. Getty Images.

(Getty Images removed the pics from this year's games, so I inserted this benign Muslim ghost kite that flew around the stadium during the opening night of the FIFA World Cup hosted by Qatar in 2022 instead.)

The history I am talking about is the type that will cause educators to change their history books in the future. For example, if you are teaching your children about presidential assassinations and assassination attempts, last month you could've hit your kid with the fact that four sitting US Presidents have been killed while in office: Abraham Lincoln in 1865, James A. Garfield in 1881, William McKinley in 1901, and JFK in 1963. That historical tidbit has not changed (thank God). However, every American history book in existence needs to be changed to reflect the number of presidents (current or former) who have been injured in attempted assassinations.

It used to be only 2: Former president Theodore Roosevelt famously took a bullet to the chest while on the campaign trail in 1912, and then Ronald Reagan got shot by Jodie Foster's #1 fan in 1981… 

Bettmann. Getty Images.

But now we need to find room for Trump's name to be included on this list after the botched attempt on his life a couple of weeks ago.

Anna Moneymaker. Getty Images.

So, let the record now show it is officially 4 dead and 3 injured… With a couple of goofy failed attempts thrown in. The goofiest of which may have been the grenade tossed at George Bush in 2005, or that time two white supremacists were arrested for a plot to kill Obama with a homemade "radiation gun".

Giphy Images.

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And since I seem to be filled with facts today, I'll also mention here that only Gerald Ford experienced an attempted assassination by a female assailant… And it happened twice (by different women).

If you wanna brush up on the dozens of other people who tried to kill our president over the years, then listen to the latest episode of Twisted History…

We set the historical records straight and then take a dramatic left turn into history's greatest song lyrics, so this episode has a little bit of everything for everyone.

Thanks for sticking with it to the end(s)…

Take a report.

-Large