The Wandsworth Prison Guard Who Was Arrested For Allegedly Making A Sextape With A Prisoner Has Spoken Out And Said People "Don't Know Her Side" Of The Story
It's been a few weeks since the prison video that shook cells has dropped:
In that time, we've heard no updates other than the woman being charged for the alleged balls-in-chain incident. That was until yesterday, when Linda decided to speak out on the case for the first time. I say we hear out Linda, who started off the video by saying that there is a lot of impersonators who are monetizing off of her *checks notes* "disfortune". Breaking news, she didn't monetize off the video that she had no idea was even in the ether until it went viral on Twitter.
Since that time, there's been a few pornstars that have pretended to recreate the video by dressing up in a prison guard outfit and saying "another tape has hit Wandsworth". Linda says this is incredibly distasteful, and anyone involved in doing so needs to stop and hear out her side of the story. Unfortunately, judging by the quote tweets, it doesn't seem like Twitter agrees:
Is there more important things England has to worry about like a duel with the great country of Spain on Sunday for the European Championship finals? Maybe, but first we have 48 hours to digest this accountability video which ranks high all-time. I nearly spat out the coffee I wasn't drinking when she said you need to be careful choosing your family and that she can't walk around Greggs or Primark without the paparazzi following her. On that note, the UK paparazzi are some of the most skilled humans on the entire Earth. They're the LeBron of paparazzis, and there's a reason two of the biggest tabloids on the planet are based out of good ole London where this alleged scandal took place.
Twitter seems to think this is AI and not actually her, because you know, an "AI calculator" told them it was true:
If I know anything about the Internet, our beloved guard is going to be on Piers Morgan by the end of the week. She's adamant that she won't be monetizing off this scandal, but when that 200 British pound check comes soaring in for an appearance on the show maybe she'll have a change of heart. And when that happens, we'll truly all be caught off guard.
P.S. "bouncing on an inmates Willy Wonka" is maybe the funniest sentence ever written on Twitter.