"He Nutted On My Leg!" - Police On Hunt For Creep Who Jacked Off On Unsuspecting Woman In Philly Dollar Store

Well that's certainly one way to commit a felony. One can ask why certain people do certain things in this world, but it's probably not even worth it here. This perp woke up and decided to enter a Dollar Store, find an unsuspecting person, and pull a Nut n' Bolt. Just a complete disregard for both humanity and society. But A+ effort for the obviously distraught victim to give that kind of A+ camerawork while chasing him out of the store, especially with a leg covered in scumbag goo. Scorsese would be proud. 

Find this menace and get him off the streets/out of Dollar Stores. Now. I don't think I've seen this kind of brazen public sexual misconduct since the "Swiss Cheese Pervert" terrorized North Philly a decade ago:

And yes, I am still amazed the literal Cheese Dick only got off to only 8 years of sex offender prohibition is the biggest upset in the courtroom since Joe Pesci got his cousin’s murder charges dropped. Plus he’s not even on the Megan’s Law list? This guy was straight up putting his dick through cheese asking women if they were lactose intolerant. No way, no how Pagano is going to stop. It took decades of wiring to get to this point, no shrink is going to tell him he can’t get off with the help of dairy products. Gotta keep the head on a swivel in town when people are whacking off on strangers in Dollar Stores and putting swiss cheese on their dicks while driving.